Page 97 of Phantom
AUDITIONS AND BETRAYALS
Scarlett
“Everyone ready for theFaustauditions for Marguerite, take two?” Maggie’s timbre quakes as she calls from the auditorium.
Today’s her firstofficialday as director since Monty quit after the “Phantom chandelier incident.” Her nerves are getting to her, I can hear it in her voice, but she practically carried the cast and crew by herself when Monty was in charge anyway. She’ll be fantastic.
Me, however? I’m not so sure.
Sol kept his promise to let me leave this morning, but not without trying to entice me back into bed with beignets. He eventually gave up on the ruse and walked me back to my dorm through his tunnels, showing me the quickest route. After I watched him leave through my mirror, I looked around my room feeling… empty. I miss the life Sol breathes into the air around me. His voice, his laugh, his touch, I’m already addicted.
I intend to keep my promise to come back to him. But with the way he’s been on my mind all day, I might as well have never left. Even preparing for this audition this afternoon, I’ve been too busy trying not to think about Sol’s earth-shattering tongue. Everything else has been an uninteresting blur.
Part of me feels like this iswaytoo fast. But then I remember I’ve been corresponding with this man for the past year. And whether I knew or not, he’s been through it all with me. Ever since my diagnosis, it’s been routine, plans, medication, rinse, repeat. I’ve tried to do everything right for so long, and I’ve been healthy, sure. But have I really lived?
With Sol? I don’t just live, Ithrive. For once, I’m going with the flow and enjoying things as they come. It’s refreshing.
One of the first things I did when I got back to my dorm this morning was check my phone after not having it with me all weekend. There were some worried texts from Maggie, stopping right after my and Sol’s performance at Masque. The last message she sent me was,y’all look good up there. Her winky face emoji at the end made me smile from ear to ear at the prospect of maybe having another friend to chat with about this stuff. Jaime’s perfect, but a girl needs as manygirlfriends as she can get.
Other than Maggie, there was an endless amount of missed calls, voice mails, and messages from Rand. He’d been worried sick, poor thing, but the amount of scrolling I had to do to read all of them was tiring in and of itself. It seems like the guy didn’t even take a breath. After that, I read through a very heartfelt apology from Jilliana, which lifted a weight off my shoulders I didn’t realize I had.
But there was nothing from Jaime.
At first, I was hurt. But when I texted him and received no prompt “Bitch, WTF have you been doing?” I got pissed. That lasted for about thirty minutes, and now I’m straight up worried. We’ve never gone this long without talking. Not since he basically attached himself to my hip right after my dad died.
To top it all off, I have auditions for the female lead inFausttoday and I honestly couldn’t care less. That’s weird, right? I keep trying to convince myself it’s weird, but then the part of me that loved singing in Masque the other night shows up with her logic and reminds me thatthisstage isn’t my dream, and whatismy dream, might actually be in reach. Just downstairs, in fact.
“Hey Scarlett.” Jilliana’s gorgeous face enters my vision as she peeks into my room, the far-off lights from the stage shine on the side of her head, glowing on her flawlessly curled red hair. “Maggie called for us, but I asked her for a moment. Do you, um… do you mind if we chat?”
“Oh, sure, of course. I finally cleaned my dorm, so there’s actually space on the couch this time.” I chuckle. “Come on in.”
She nods and closes the door behind her. Instead of sitting beside me though, she stands with her back straight, wringing her fingers as she toes the ground. Jilliana and I are both seniors. I’ve seen her in too many shows to keep track and I’veneverseen her this nervous. I raise a brow when she twists a red curl around her finger until she finally huffs and meets my eyes.
“Did you um… did you get my text? I tried calling to meet for coffee, too.”
I wince. “Yeah, um, I didn’t have my phone. I just saw my texts this morning and I haven’t gotten back to people yet. I’m sorry.”
She waves me off. “Oh god, please don’t apologize. Are you… are you okay?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah? Why?”
“That’s good. That’s good. I, um, kind of saw what happened before Jaime slammed the door on us. I was so fucking worried that I was the one who made you—”
“Oh,that,” I interrupt with a nervous laugh. “Well, I’m fine. No need to be worried,” I say carefully, trying to calm her nerves with a smile, but she just shakes her head.
After taking a deep breath, she pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I don’t apologize often. But after the way I acted—”
“Jilliana, it’s okay—”
“No,” she says firmly, her emerald-green eyes meeting my gaze. “No. Don’t let me off the hook. What I did was awful, all because I was afraid the career I had earned… thewrongway, was in jeopardy. I… I got mad at the wrong person. And there was no excuse for talking to you like that. I never… I never should’ve brought up your… disorder.” Her face scrunches up as she wrestles her emotions back into composure. “Oh god, I’m the worst.”
“Jilliana, seriously, it’s okay. I get it.”
“If you really believe that,that’snot okay. No one deserves to be talked to or about that way. It took this weekend of freedom to realize how much Monty… owned me. It makes me sick when I think about how I let him blackmail me like that.”
“You didn’tlethim do anything.” I scowl. “Jilliana, he was your professor. You were in an awful position—”
She puts her hand up to stop me from consoling her further. “I don’t deserve for you to try to make me feel better and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But if you decide to give it to me, I’ll be grateful. If youcanforgive me, I’d love to buy you a beignet sometime and just shoot the shit. Maybe we can even be friends.”
