Page 93 of Fighting Conviction
His wistful stare grew watery. “Eight.”
“I’m sorry.” She couldn’t imagine losing the man she loved after so much time. Or ever. The thought of Dev going into that hotel room flashed into her mind.
Was he safe? She hadn’t even thought of the danger he constantly put himself in. She’d just trusted he’d make it through. But God, what if he didn’t?
He has to be okay.
Ellie bowed her head and breathed in deeply to envision him safe and healthy, but the stench of ammonia choked her instead.
“We were happy, ya know.”
Ellie stilled and watched the investigator as he washed his depression in moonshine and leaned against the counter for support. The lighter was quiet in his hand.
“I’m sure you were,” Ellie offered.
“We got married at eighteen. Too damn young, but happy. I went into the police force. She became a nurse. It was perfect.”
“That sounds nice. Did, um… did y’all have any kids?”
The silence went on so long Ellie found herself searching for something else to say until he filled the empty space with three simple words.
“We’d wanted them.”
Ellie’s lungs twisted, both out of sympathy and fear she’d asked the wrong question, but the investigator continued.
“I got promoted to investigator. We were happy about that for a while. But the job… it ain’t easy. ‘Shine’s doin’ the trick right now.” He lifted up the jar. “Back then, Jack and Jim were my closest friends. That’s when everything got fucked up.”
He buried his face into the hand holding the lighter and whispered. “I’m sorry, Cici. So sorry. It’s all my fault. If I’d been there… I know. But if I’d been there more… come home earlier. Been home. You woulda stayed…”
The pain laced in each word ripped at Ellie’s heart and she looked away. She could never hold back tears when she saw a man cry, but it was more than that. Even with all her work at Sasha Saves, she’d never seen someone more broken.
A crash of glass against the wall made her yelp, but the sound was drowned out when the investigator screamed at the thin air.
“You left me! And now look at what I’ve become. Without you, I amnothing. Why did you have to go? Now I’m neck-deep in somethin’ I can’t swim out of.” He slid down to the floor. “You always had the answers, Cees. Always. If you were here, you’d know what to do…” Tears streamed down his face, but he wasn’t sobbing. It was almost as if he didn’t even notice them anymore. “I know… I know. Rehab. You’ve been tellin’ me for years.” He sighed and leaned his head against the counter island. “You’re right. You’re always right. Fuck.”
Everything was silent again, but Ellie didn’t feel the need to fill the air with noise this time. It seemed like there was a full conversation going on in the investigator’s head anyway and she was afraid to interrupt.
“Maybe that’ll work. What does this life have to do for me anyway? I’ll plead guilty. They’ll send me to rehab…” He sighed. “I’m gonna die in there though, Cici.” He paused. “But I guess I’m dead already.”
Ellie wasn’t sure what he was talking about but she let him go. She looked over to Virginia, whose eyes were back open. She gave a subtle thumbs up with her right hand before closing them again. She didn’t look any better, but maybe she was better off than Ellie thought.
“You ready to go?”
Ellie whipped her head back to the investigator, who was now staring at her.
“Um… go?”Uh… Sash? What’d I miss?
He sighed and slapped the ground before grabbing the counter to help him stand back up. “To the station. Let’s get this over with before I change my damn mind.”
“Really? Uh, why?” Ellie winced.Why did I ask that? How freakin’ dumb—
“‘Cuz you got an angel up there, is why.”
Ellie had no idea what that meant, but she didn’t question it. Hope and relief washed over her as the investigator pulled out what she guessed was the key to the handcuffs. She maneuvered her duct-taped feet to sit up on her knees.
“Thank you, oh my God. Thank you. I’ll do whatever you want if you get my friend to the hospital.”
He paused. “Shit, fuck. I forgot about her.” He wiped his face. “We’ll take her to the hospital first. Lights and sirens should get her there quicker than waitin’ for EMS.”
