Page 14 of Cross Check Christmas
"Sorry!" I call out, not sorry at all.
As if on cue, Tommy misses a catch and the ball rolls right through her cluster of pageant kids. Three shepherds go down like dominoes.
"Ellis!"
I whistle to my team. "Okay boys. Keep it tight!"
Then, one of my players' tennis balls rolls through Colette's nativity scene for the fifth time. Her eye twitches. Actually twitches.
"Alright everyone, from Mary's solo!" She claps her hands together, her voice rising to compete with our drills.
Tommy retrieves the ball, accidentally kicking over a cardboard sheep. "Sorry, Miss M!"
"Silent night..." A girl in a blue robe starts singing.
"Keep those passes crisp!" I shout over the caroling.
The shepherd kids join in. "Holy night..."
"Watch your form, Martinez!" I call out.
"Beautiful projection, Jeremy!" Colette cries, shooting me a smug look.
Fine. Two can play this game. "Alright boys, let's work on our victory chants!"
Their faces light up. Nothing like a bunch of teenage boys attempting to sing our traditional pre-game pump-up song. It's terrible, off-key, and perfect.
"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS..." They bellow, completely drowning out the nativity scene.
"All is calm..."
THWACK! A tennis ball ricochets off the basketball hoop.
"All is—eek!" Mary ducks.
"That's it!" Colette marches to her phone, connected to the gym's ancient speaker system. Suddenly, "Deck the Halls" blasts at ear-splitting volume, drowning out my instructions.
"Really mature!" I yell over the fa-la-la-las.
She responds by turning it up louder. My guys can barely hear my whistle now.
Two can play this game. "Defense drill!" I announce. "Full-volume communication required!"
"I GOT IT!" Tommy bellows, chasing a ball.
"OVER HERE!" Jeff screams.
"PASS IT UP!"
The gym dissolves into chaos. Her kids are belting Christmas carols while trying to dodge tennis balls. My players are shouting like they're in the middle of Game 7. Someone's shepherd staff gets tangled in our passing drill.
Colette cranks up the volume to ludicrous levels.
"WHO'S OPEN?" Martinez hollers.
"TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!" her choir responds in perfect harmony.
A tennis ball takes out the cardboard manger. Baby Jesus goes flying. Mary looks ready to throw hands with my defense line.
