Page 28 of The War of Wings
Petra
Screams sounded from every direction. Somewhere nearby, a cricket was chirping, the beat of its call matching that of my heart. Smoke still rose from the pile of rubble that had been the Eserenian castle days — no, meremomentsago. Cal’s hand still clung to mine where we stood amid the smoldering rock.
Eserene was exactly the same as we left it and somehow entirely different. BecauseIwas entirely different. I’d moved between realms. I’d seen life beyond death. And I’d bargained away what was most precious to me.
Like a sick reminder, I felt it now. The power in my veins, humming in a way I’d never noticed before. They were back.I had my powers back.
But something was different. They felt weaker, brittle, like the edge of hunger and starvation, when your hands begin to shake and your knees feel wobbly. Before I could take full stockof my powers, Cal pulled away, moving over the rubble at a frantic pace.
“Miles!” I called, reality hitting me hard in the gut. I turned wildly, scrambling over the rubble in search of him. He was dead, right? He had to be dead. But what if…
“Over here!” Cal yelled, and then I was moving, my heart skittering as I clawed my way to where he stood over a limp figure.
My mouth fell open when my eyes landed on him, my breath hitching in my throat as I took in the state of his broken body. It was so much worse than I remembered. Lieutenant Miles Landgrave, the man who’d been my downfall but had become my friend, lay dying. It was a miracle he was still alive at all, nearly split in two, the edges of his wound glowing and sizzling with an eerie blue light.
Miles’ head lolled to one side, his warm brown skin now a sickening shade of gray. Pieces of his ribs jutted haphazardly out of his chest, their broken ends craggy. I kept my attention on his face, afraid to look any closer at his wounds. His onyx eyes fluttered open and closed, rolling to the back of his head over and over again as he fought to hold on to some thread of consciousness.
“Give me your sword,” I said to Cal as I lowered myself to his brother’s side.
“Do you have your powers?” he asked, and I could tell he was trying to keep his voice even as he unsheathed his blade and handed it to me.
“I think so.” I ran Cal’s blade over my palm only to find the skin left unbroken. I tried again, pressing the sharp edge of the steel harder into my palm. The same thing happened again, the pressure leaving nothing but a white line that quickly reddened again as the blood rushed back in. “What the fuck?” I whispered. Cal’s face was blank as he stared down at my hand, his head shaking in confusion.My dagger. I reached for the blade at mythigh. A quick slice across my hand, and as the blood welled, relief did, too.
I reached for Miles’ face, gently resting my bloodied palm against his soot-stained cheek. “Hey, Lieutenant, time to wake up,” I whispered. “We have shit to do.”
I desperately tried to keep the panic from my voice. Because if this was it for him, if my powers were too weak or it was simply too late and Miles was nearing his final breath, he deserved peace. He didn’t deserve the chaos I felt roiling through me.
Please be strong enough, I prayed silently.Please, let my powers be strong enough.
“Come on, Tobyas,” Cal urged, a gloved hand on Miles’ uninjured shoulder. Tears threatened my eyes at the sound of Cal using Miles’ true name. “I still have so much to tell you.” His voice cracked as he tried to keep himself from doing the same. “And we need to go find Cielle.”
Miles’ breathing was so shallow, I had to focus all my attention on watching the edges of his wound to see any movement at all. The blue light Malosym left behind still flickered like the embers of a fire that was almost dead.
I didn’t know what would greet him on the other side of death. I wasn’t sure if it still existed, or if he’d be walking into a wasteland similar to this one. But he was headed there whether I wanted to believe it or not.
“I met your mother,” I said quietly. Saints, I hoped he could hear my words. Cal’s eyes landed on me, burning into the side of my face. He was averting his gaze, intentionally looking anywhere but at his brother. I gulped down as big a breath as I could, hoping it would keep me from crying. “Your Aunt Berna, too. They’re excited to see you on the other side. It’s so beautiful there, Miles.” The lie burned my tongue as I said it, but I couldn’t bear the thought of him being as scared as I was. Itwasbeautiful. Before.
His lips parted, and for a moment I thought he was going to speak. But instead, one final, ragged breath rushed forth. Hischest stilled completely. His dark eyes went empty and unseeing. That blue light, though, continued to burn.
Grief hit me hard and fast as I fell back, landing hard in the rubble with a hand pressed to my mouth. It hadn’t been enough. Why hadn’t it been enough?
Cal’s chest was barely moving, his jaw locked so tight I was sure his molars would be ground to dust. Slowly, he turned to look down at his brother. A tear escaped one gemstone eye, then another, and he didn’t wipe them away.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, tearing his gaze away from Miles to look at me. The blue in his eyes had never looked more like the ocean than this moment. I turned away, a fucking coward in the face of such a life-shattering, monumental failure.
“It’s not your fault, Petra,” Cal whispered. “Look at me.”
I couldn’t. I couldn’t meet his gaze. This was my fault. This whole fucking thing was my fault.
“Look at me, Petra.” He reached forward, hooking his thumb beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. “This isn’t your fault. Do you understand? It was Castemont.” Cal pursed his lips before speaking again, “Malosym.Malosym is the reason I lost him when we were kids, and he’s the reason I lost him again.” His voice wavered, though I could see how hard he was fighting to keep it even. “Him. Not you.”
His words seemed to roll off me like water beading off a gull’s back. Maybe it was part of the truth, that Malosym had indeed caused the destruction and devastation around us. But at the core of those words was another truth I had to face.
Malosym was only here in the Human Realm because of me.
“Come back to me,” Cal breathed, searching my eyes as he pulled me to stand. My knees wobbled. “You’re somewhere far away right now. Come back to me. I need you here.”
