Page 144 of The War of Wings
Cielle’s lips were pressed to the back of his hand, as if it was enough to hide the smile that faltered as her shoulders began toshake. “I’m sorry, Miles. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you.”
Just like Cal, tears fell from the corners of his eyes and rolled down his temples. I couldn’t tell if they were the result of the effort it took to stave off Malosym’s evil, or because of Cielle’s words. Maybe both.
I dug the heel of my hand into my chest in an effort to staunch the pain. Grief ripped me apart from the inside, a canyon cracking open in my heart so wide and deep it was going to swallow me whole.
“What about his father?” Ludovicus asked.
“He doesn’t know who his father is!” I screamed at Ludovicus before I recoiled the slightest bit. He wouldn’t know that, and I had no reason to scream at him considering he’d just given up his greatest secret for the good of the realm.
Cielle crumbled further, her forehead falling against Miles’. He reached a shaky hand toward her shoulder, but pulled it away before he made contact.
My eyes widened, my posture straightening as an idea came to me. “Kauvras. Kauvras knows.” Maybe he’d survived. Maybe he was one of the voices that made up the roar of victory echoing from the beach. “We can find him, see if he knows, see if–”
“I know who his father is,” Ludovicus said.
I opened my mouth to demand the answer before I promptly snapped it shut. Ludovicus’ eyes moved from Miles to me, his dark brows downturned in silent apology.
What?
No.
This was a trick. A shitty fucking joke at worst, and an unfortunately timed misunderstanding at best. Ludovicus’ features were laced with regret, his brows furrowed in a familiar way. Familiar because… I took in the obsidian eyes, the same depthless midnight of Miles’. The shape of his jaw.
“Holy shit,” I whispered, surveying his features, like if I looked long enough, I’d see the similarities weren’t actually there. I didn’t want to find hope only to watch it slip through my fingers yet again.
“I’m… I’m his father,” Ludovicus said quietly, the words strained as he stared down at the writhing figure in the dirt.
Cielle gasped, her face whirling to Ludovicus. Miles finally opened his eyes, grunting in agony as the tremors worsened. For a moment, it looked like he was going to attempt to speak. But the words never came.
“You’re sure of it?” Solise asked.
Ludovicus nodded, tears lining his eyes. “Without a doubt.”
Without another word, Solise turned to her bag and started unloading glasses and vials as Ludovicus dropped to his knees, looking down at Miles. Cielle’s eyes were on Miles’ newfound father, assessing his features the same way I had. I stepped back even more, hoping I’d blend into the background of trees.
“I’m sorry,” Ludovicus said, tears brimming in his dark eyes. Miles’ eyes moved back and forth between Ludovicus’ eyes — his fathers’ eyes. Both of their tears started spilling faster now. “I didn’t know you existed until the day your mother died,” he answered, his words so painful I felt some of that pain in my own gut. “I saw you for the first time just before I…” He took a shuddering inhale as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. “I killed her.”
Miles stared back at his father, his brows furrowed, nostrils flaring. And amid the tremors that were quickly gaining strength, he managed a clear shake of his head.
“I did,” Ludovicus said, his voice firm but filled with that same regret. “It may not have been of my own will, but I still committed the act. And I lived with the knowledge from that day forward that you, myson, were out there somewhere, and I needed to stay far, far away from you. The moment I saw you in Blindbarrow, I knew who you were. But you were a man, nota boy. What good would it have done to tell you the truth then, to intrude on a life I had no part of?”
An agonized groan left Miles. Cielle wept harder.
“Are you sure about this, Ludovicus?” Solise asked cautiously as she pulled out a small pouch of something that looked like white pins. “You won’t survive it.”
“Absolutely,” Ludovicus said, looking up at the healer for only a moment before his eyes found his son once again. Miles’ head was shaking wildly. “Yes. For the sin I committed against you and your brother, from stealing your mother from your life. You should’ve had her. You should’ve had me, too.”
“N-No,” Miles grunted. He repeated it over and over, through gritted teeth. “Let me die!”
There was conviction on Ludovicus’ face. “I’m sorry, my son.”
“N-No!” Miles sobbed.
Ludovicus nodded to Solise, and amid Miles’ protests, she pulled one of the white pins from her pouch and shuffled to Miles’ side. “This is a needle made of a sheep’s bone,” she explained as she reached for Miles’ arm. He tried to pull away, but the seizing of his muscles was so strong, he had no control. Ludovicus reached for his hand, holding it carefully to the ground so Solise could pierce the needle through the skin of his forearm. “And this is a piece of tube made from leather. Together, they’ll allow the blood to drain from your body. Ludovicus, would you mind handing me that bowl there?”
He moved quickly, retrieving the small bowl from her bag and placing it beside her. Miles’ agonized groans grew louder as Solise attached one end of the tube to the needle in Miles’ arm and placed the other in the bowl, which quickly began to fill with blood.
“Just l-let me die,” Miles begged.
