Page 117 of The War of Wings
I fell back into my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose as people rose and made their way to the doors. I felt no better than when I’d taken my spot here on the dais.
A warm hand rested against my upper back. Tyrak’s low voice cut through my thoughts. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit. How am I supposed to lure him here?”
Tyrak didn’t answer. The room had all but emptied, and the sight made my stomach turn. How many days until I led this entire room full of people — and the thousands upon thousands of soldiers under their command — into a battle where so many of them were bound to lose their lives? Even if I managed to find Malosym, even if I managed to use the imbued blade and end his life without ending my own, how many lives would be lost in the process?
“Petra.” I turned to Nell, expecting to see the same empty look in her eyes I’d seen since she arrived in Araqina. But I was met with pain instead, her features creased as she stared at me.
A chill crept up my spine at her expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Through tight lips, she blew out a painful sounding breath. “Cal asked me to pass along a message to you.” Heat flared in my chest at the cautious sound of her voice, and whether it wasfear or fury that caused sweat to bead along my brow, I couldn’t tell. “He asked me to tell you… He had to leave, and he’s sorry.”
He had to leave? My head shook, my eyes narrowed as I tried to interpret the words. “I don’t understand. Where did he go?”
“He didn’t tell me.”
I shot to my feet, and I knew it was fear, not fury. “Dammit,” I swore under my breath, my fingers pressing into my forehead in an effort to quell the ache that had suddenly bloomed to life behind my eyes. There was only one place he would go, and that was to the shore to find his brother. He’d gone to the shore to look for Miles’ body, to get the closure he never got when Tobyas died all those years ago. “I need a few minutes alone,” I muttered, pushing back from my chair. “Excuse me.”
I managed to keep my steps measured as I left the hall, but the moment I broached the doors and turned in the hallway, I was running, the world swimming in the hot tears that flooded my vision. I’d taken Cal’s guilt and twisted it, molded it in my hands like clay to use as a weapon against him because ofmyhurt. My hurt that came from a place of selfishness, not fear. My hurt that was profoundly painful, but had to be nothing compared to Cal losing his brother for the second time. The third time, really, after Eserene.
My chin stayed down as I sprinted through the corridors, ignoring the gasps and questions I heard as I shot past other people. Maybe the other leaders from the meeting, maybe castle staff. I had no idea, and I didn’t care. I just wanted to get to my suite, lock the door, and collapse into my guilt.
The door slammed behind me and I turned the lock into place just as sobs began to wrack my body. I was so fucking stupid for yelling at Cal. Now he was off somewhere alone, searching for his brother’s body. Saints fucking dammit! Why did I have to be so fucking nasty? Why couldn’t I just put my own bullshit aside for one fucking moment? I should be therewith him. He shouldn’t be alone. And I wasn’t sure what would be worse — if Cal managed to find Miles, or if he didn’t.
I made it to the settee before I crumbled into a heap, tears streaming from my eyes and dripping from my chin. I was a shit person, an inconsiderate bitch with no regard for anyone but myself, and I deserved to spiral until I hit rock-bottom. It couldn’t be much farther down.
A blurry spot of light against dark caught my attention, and I wiped the tears from my eyes to find an envelope sitting atop the dining table. A note from Cal, maybe, that I hadn’t noticed when I left this morning.
On shaking knees, I rose and swiped the envelope, but before I could pull out the parchment, I froze. Something was missing here. Something I’d put here last night. The blade imbued with my power had been leaning against the dining table. I took a step back, bending to look under the table, because surely it had fallen. But there was nothing under the table. I stumbled to the bedroom, finding the space beside the nightstand empty. The dresser, too.
My hands shook as I unfolded the parchment from the envelope. Surely this was from Cal, and it would explain everything. He probably took the blade to train with. There was a logical explanation to why he was gone and the blade, too.
But there was no logic here. Only the cold bite of fear as I read the words.
There is no need for war. Meet me in five days’ time, at the same place you first landed in Nesan. Such a beautiful stretch of untouched beach. No one around for miles to hear the scream of a dying man should you fail to meet my conditions.
Come alone. No weapons. No armies. No drivas. Meet these conditions, and I’ll return something which you hold dear.
I read the note once more, then once more after that. It was unsigned, though I remembered that handwriting well, from countless gift tags and love notes my mother insisted on showing me. After my eyes scanned the words for a fourth time, the note fluttered to the floor, every muscle in my body paralyzed.
Malosym had Cal.
Chapter 46
Cal
Obitus. Okay.
“No, you’re not,” I called to the driva as I unstrapped the pack from his side. It almost seemed the clouds had followed me across the Widow’s Sea from Nesan to where we landed in Redwater. They were the slightest bit of mercy from the sun. It wasn’t Araqina, but it was still warm. “Just a few hours of sleep and then we’ll continue on to Taitha.”
I told myself the only reason we stopped in Redwater was so Obitus could sleep. I didn’t want to admit I needed this time to think because I still hadn’t figured out exactly what the fuck to do. I wasn’t even sure why I’d set out for Taitha.
Obitus. Go. Cal. On.
“Close your eyes.”
Obitus. Sleep. Cal. Sleep.
