Page 10 of Invisible Bars
“You too,” I replied, punctuated by a soft humming sound I couldn’t help.
I waved quickly, then hurriedly exited the car before my next tic showed up.
The air was thick with the intoxicating scents of distant rain mingling with the aroma of fried food wafting from nearby kitchens.
I pulled my work bag closer to me and made my way toward the door, where the warm hum of music began to swell, wrapping around me like a soft embrace.
I walked inside, immediately engulfed by the scent of aged bourbon, lemon oil, and a trace of cigar smoke clinging to the walls. Inside, the lighting was low and cozy. Blu Notes was the kind of place where vinyl crackled in the background and people drank to forget but stayed to feel.
I was headed up the stairs to my room until I heard a gravelly voice from behind the bar say, “Evening, baby girl.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see the owner Blu wiping a glass with a checkered towel, his suspenders snug over a dark button-up.
“Hee-hee—H-Hey, Mr. Blu.”
Blu smirked and gave me that same crooked grin he always did.
“Naji, I told you to drop themister.You live above me now and have been for the last three years… that makes us kin.”
I grinned. “Habit. S-Sorry.”
“Come over here,” he said, waving me over. “I got a break and some blues on the speakers. I usually miss you when you come in from work. You head straight up to that room like it’s a dungeon, then disappear until the next morning. Let’s catch up a little.”
I hesitated, shifting the weight of my bag on my shoulder.
It wasn’t Blu who made me pause; it was everything else. I genuinely had no issues with him. In fact, he was one of the few people I felt truly safe and comfortable around. The reality, however, was that interactions with people wore me out—not in a physical sense, but mentally and emotionally.
I was a very attractive girl—because of that, most men often gravitated toward me, sparking their interest almost immediately. But that initial attraction would usually fade when they learned about my condition. That’s when I could see the shift—the hesitation would creep in, often followed by confusion.
Some men tried to mask their discomfort, pretending it didn’t bother them, while others reacted more bluntly, growing awkward or rude, ultimately disappearing from my life entirely. It didn’t matter how gently I brought it up or how upfront I was about my tics; the moment they became aware, I could see their interest evaporate as if it were peeling off their faces like old paint.
With each experience, I learned to keep my circle tight and my distance even tighter. Strangers, in particular, were the biggest triggers for me—not because they were inherently cruel, but because I could never anticipate how they might react. Curiosity, pity, or awkwardness were sensations I dreaded, and none of those reactions felt safe. So, I chose to stay quiet, to stay small, and to keep myself tucked away where I could protect my fragile peace.
But Blu wasn’t just another stranger. He had somehow become a familiar presence in my life. And he was right—we hadn’t really talked in a while. Lately, our connection had been reduced to brief exchanges in the hallway like, “Hey. Bye. You good? You need anything? Have you eaten?”Then, like two ships passing in the night, we would vanish in opposite directions, functioning like roommates who shared a space but no longer knew each other.
I sighed, then made my way over to him. Once near, I slid into the barstool, careful and slow.
“You good today?” he asked, pouring me a ginger ale into a chilled rocks glass.
I nodded, smoothing my shirt.
“Work was slow. Stockroom stuff… to-to-towels and chemicals. One day, I want to upgrade… maybe try something at the front desk, or t-training. But the quiet… helps. My tics stay down when it’s calm, so I don’t know.”
Blu gave a slow nod, then leaned on the bar.
“You take your time. You got peace right now. You’ll get where you’re going, Naji. No rush on your kind of journey.”
Blu slid the ginger ale toward me on a coaster, then studied me for a beat. He didn’t appear to be staring at the tics or the hesitations in my voice, butthroughme… like he saw something the world kept overlooking.
“You know what I like about you, Naji? You stillshow up…every day. Quiet and calm. You ain’t asking for nobody to carry you, and you ain’t trying to be somebody else. That takes strength most folks don’t even know they need.”
I looked down timidly, while taking a sip of my drink. “I just try to keep the peace.”
Blu leaned back, resting against the bar. “That’s the thing… people think peace is soft, but peace is a damndiscipline.Keeping your calm in a world that won’t shut up? That’s power, baby girl. That’s yours.”
I gave a small nod. My hand twitched at the wrist—just a quick jerk I couldn’t stop—but my smile stayed steady.
Blu reached beneath the bar without a word, then pulled out a small, folded envelope. He slid it toward me across the smooth wood.
