Page 15 of Invisible Bars
Before I could clap back, a bottle girl rolled up beside us.
“Hold that thought,” Chi said, giving her his undivided attention.
“Hey! Can I get y’all something else to drink? Eat maybe?” she asked.
“Yeah, bring my man here something dark, smooth, and violent,” Chi requested. “Whatever makes him human again and stops him from plotting murders in his head for ten minutes.” Chi leaned in, lowering his voice like he was sharing a deadlysecret. “The last time he was this quiet, a man disappeared and his shoes showed up on Craigslist.”
The waitress’s eyes stretched. “I—um…”
“No, for real… just make it quick. This crazy nigga starts pacing when he gets thirsty… and we don’t want that.”
The waitress looked at me like I was plotting the downfall of humanity.
“I-I’ll be right back,” she said, backing away slowly like she’d just been given a warning from the universe or suddenly remembered she had options in life and quitting that job was one of them.
Chi reclined in his seat, grinning to himself.
“See? That’s customer service with urgency.”
I cut my eyes toward him. “So you ordering for me now?”
“Just trying to save the city, bro. Now, back to what I was saying. Nigga, I don’ told you to stop doing this shit. I’mconvincedyou don’t want to see a nigga happy with yo’ sister, ’cause if one more random ass chick texts me andDessfinds out…”
Chi trailed off, looking toward the sky like he was talking directly to God.
Chi was engaged to my sister, Dessign, who we calledDessfor short. She was beautiful, fiery, and always on edge. Dessign was the type of girl who would slash a nigga tires and then send him a handwritten apology hours later.
See, usually when a woman started acting like she caught feelings… or worse, asked deep questions like, "What are we?", I’d just gave her Chi’s number and tell her myassistantwould handle scheduling. They never knew my real name anyway. Half of ‘em would text him, calling meMarquis, Darius,etc.I’d rather give out my blood type than my real name to females.
Meanwhile, my nigga Chi was going through it at his crib.Him and Dessign stayed arguing about the women and the texts.I’m talking… loud arguments; the kind neighbors record and send toThe Shade Room…just in case. It got so bad, Ifinallytold him the truth. That nigga waslivid.
I went into my thoughts about that day.
“That explains why all these random ass women been hittin’ me like, ‘You free next Tuesday?’ and ‘When can I see you again?’ Bro, I thought I was getting catfished!”
“You were,” I said. “By me.”
Chi stared at me after that revelation for a long time, like he was debating between laughing, crying, or fighting.
“Bro,” he finally spoke, “I was about to start filing restraining orders. I been waking up to ‘Good morning, sexy’ texts from numbers saved as Do Not Answer.”
I shrugged. “You’re too available; I needed a buffer.”
Chi wiped his face like he was tired of life. “Yo, I swear, if Dess leave me over some chick named Peaches from the Bronx who swear she my soulmate, I'ma kill you, then resurrect you just so I can cuss you out.”
I sipped my drink, completely unfazed.
“Then do it quick… ‘Cause Peaches got a second date next Friday.”
“Well, what this one say?” I finally asked.
Chi looked back at his phone, then shook his head.
“She said—and I quote—‘TellPeterI miss him and I’m still sore.’”
Soon as Chi said the chick called me Peter, I instantly knew he was talking about Andria’s ass. She was fine, no doubt… body on ten. But Andria waswaytoo clingy. She was the type who would start planning a baby shower after a deep hug. And the pussy? That shit wasmid-tier with potentialbutnever reached it. Like, it had a good résumé, but no references. So hell nah I never called her back, and I wasn’t going to either.
Chi cocked his head. “Now, I don’ seen you come up with some crazy ass names, butPeter, nigga? Out of all the names? Bro, that name sounds like it belongs to a nigga who sells insurance, pass out peppermints after church or brings a fruit tray to the cookout and asks if the ribs are organic.” Chi laughed.
