Page 236 of Invisible Bars
Dessign raised an eyebrow. “Have sex?” she finished for me, smirking.
I looked down at my plate. “Yeah”
She let out a laugh so loud that a couple of tables over actuallydidglance our way.
“I figured that’s what you were dancing around. But first, let me say this.”
Dessign placed her fork down and leaned forward like she was about to deliver a sermon.
“Naji, if you’re gonna be hanging around me—and let’s be real, you willveryoften—don’t be scared to ask me certain shit. I’m an open book... well, for people I like. And I just so happen to love you in this short period of time, so I’m gonna need you toretirephrases like ‘you know’ or ‘did it.’ Saysex. Sayfuck. Saygot folded like laundry on a Sunday afternoon—but say it with your chest,okay?”
I laughed. “Okay, okay. Duly n-noted.”
She grinned, then got real.
“So look. As you already know, I’m paralyzed from the waist down, yeah. For the first two years after the accident, I feltnothingdown there. But when I got with Chi? He stillgot in thereand put in the work… and I let him. Not because I was trying to be brave, but because he looked at me like I was still awhole woman… like I was still his. So I moaned. Iperformed. Not fake, but like… spiritual. I did it for him, myself, and the possibility.”
Dessign took a sip of her wine, then continued, unbothered.
“And then one day… Ifeltit,” Dessign began, her voice dipping like she was about to narrate a romance movie trailer. “A twitch. A spark. A grind.”
She paused, eyes wide. “Girl, I damn near cried. Actually—IthinkI did. My eyes definitely leaked.”
We laughed.
“Girl, I knew right then my nerves were reconnecting. Andbaby, when I tell you it’s been onsince!”
Dessign leaned back with her wine like she was testifying.
“Wheelchair or not—that nigga throws me around like a ragdoll. I got favorite positions too—legs over the arms of the chair, bent forward on the edge of the bed. Sometimes he picks me up,sometimes I slide under him like a mechanic on a mission—we getcreative.”
I laughed under my breath. “Not the mechanic!”
“Oh yes, girl!” she beamed, winking. “I’ve been under the hood, baby. Wrench in hand, name tag and everything! Greased up and focused!”
I giggled, nearly spitting my drink.
Meanwhile, Dessign just grinned wider and powered on.
“See, people assume because I’m paralyzed that sex gotta be boring or gentle. But Chi? He doesn’t baby me; he be in it like I got full mobility and two backup spines.”
I stared at her, part shell-shocked… part inspired.
Iyearnedto be that freaky… one day. And being with a man like Imanio? Something told me I wouldn’t be waiting too long.
“So next time you got a question? Don’t whisper it…askit!” she chuckled.
“Yes, ma’am.” I laughed along.
Dessign arched a brow and leaned in closer, her eyes gleaming with mischief.
“But since you wanna know what goes on inmybedroom… let’s flip it,” she challenged, her tone curious but warm. “How doesyourcondition affect your sex life? Do you have like… wild outbursts when y’all get busy?”
I sighed, sinking back into my chair a bit. I didn’t usually like talking about that. Hell, I barely thought about itout loud. But with Dessign, it felt safe. We’d already peeled back layers, and she’d given me honesty without holding back, so I owed her the same.
“I do,” I admitted, voice low. “Mainly when I… when I have an orgasm.”
An outburst punched through my chest right after—loud, sharp, and out of place.
