Page 198 of Invisible Bars
“Ye-yes,” I managed, adjusting my legs in the water with a soft groan.
Ms. Shirley turned around and smiled, eyes twinkling when she saw me.
“Well, look at you. You look beautiful, baby; like peace finally found its way to you. Does the temperature need to be adjusted?” she asked kindly.
“It’s fine,” I answered truthfully.
The sting was still there, but it was softening. My body was starting to adjust—slowly, reluctantly, but it was happening.
“Well, I’ma go so you can enjoy this moment. Do you need anything before I leave?”
I shook my head gently.
“N-no, ma’am. I… I think I’m good. Thank you.”
“You’re most welcome. Now take your time, baby. Nobody is rushing you.” Her voice was gentle as warm honey. “This tub was made for queens, and you’re finally sitting in your throne.”
I glanced down at the bubbles, fingers fidgeting beneath the surface as something heavy pressed against my temple—a question.
One, I wasn’t sure I had the right to ask.
My voice wavered soft, almost childlike. “Be-before you go… can I ask you a question?!”I winced but didn’t back down, my fingers still fidgeting beneath the water as I looked up at her.
Ms. Shirley paused at the door, her hand on the knob. She turned around with a soft smile; her head tilted slightly like she already knew that wasn’t going to be a light one.
“Sure, baby,” she replied, easing back a step. “What’s on your heart?”
“Have you… ever done this for anyone else? Any other woman who came over?”
Ms. Shirley smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling, but there was no teasing in her face, just truth.
“No, baby… you’re the first. And for the record, aside from family and staff, you’re theonlywoman who has been in this house.”
She leaned in a little, her tone firm and full of that matter-of-fact sweetness only women like her could pull off.
“So you gotta be special, ‘cause I don’t roll out no royal treatment for just anybody. And I sure as hel—” she caught herself, “Heck, don’t draw baths for folks who don’t deserve it. I wanted to ask himwhy me? I’m the chef, not the maid.” She added with a playful eyeroll.
I laughed, a little caught off guard—but it felt good.
Ms. Shirley chuckled, too. “But,” she added, settling her hands on her hips, “the fact that he asked me, made me pay attention. That man doesn’t ask for nothingunlessit matters.”
She gave me a once-over, her expression softening.
“So, I guess that makes you a diamond in the rough.”
A diamond in the rough.
It was a phrase I had never heard directed at me before—not truly. No one had ever acknowledged my potential like that, out loud and with sincerity. For so long, I felt more like a cracked shell than a precious gem—awkward, different, and too much in all the wrong ways. My Tourette Syndrome made certain of that, throwing unexpected tics and sounds into my life, causing stares and whispered judgments. Life's challenges only compounded the feeling of being an outsider in a world that rarely seemed to have a place for someone like me.
And yet, there I was, in that moment, being seen by Ms. Shirley, whose encouraging words could turn a rough day into one filled with hope; by Chi, with his infectious laughter andability to make anyone feel included; by Dessign, whose vibrant creativity always reminded me of the beauty in uniqueness; and by Imanio, who had a way of making me feel understood without needing to say much at all. Perhaps, for the first time in a long time, I was beginning to see myself in that light too.
I glanced up at the ceiling, the steam fogging the corners of the room, and whispered under my breath, “Maybe I am,” I responded.
“You are,” she reassured me. “Now soak, breathe, and let this moment belong to you. I’ll tell your husband to stop pacing outside the door like he ain’t the reason you need a bath in the first place.”
I chuckled.
Once she left the bathroom, I eased deeper into the water with a soft gasp, letting the heat envelop my sore limbs like a hug from the earth itself. The scent of rose, lavender, and clean citrus wrapped around me. My tics were calm, and my mind was still.
