Page 23 of Now You See Him
“I wouldn’t call it a spiral,” she said.
He pointed at her with his spoon. “Lastly, you stuck your ass in the air like a fucking champ and let me fuck you until we were both drenched with cum and sweat.”
She could feel her cheeks heating. “Well, when you put it like that.”
“I did.” He dropped his spoon into his bowl and reached out to stroke a hand over her thigh. The gesture was friendly. Personal. Sincere. “You’re engaged. That has to mess with your head. You don’t seem like the kind of person who enters a monogamous relationship and chooses to be unfaithful on the regular.”
Tina was quiet for a long moment. Her ice cream was starting to melt, and she swirled her spoon in it. She’d been so determined to ruthlessly push back feelings of guilt while she was with Derrick. She wanted him and consented to every moment they were together. She could blame it on the fact that her head was messed up with the dreams and the hallucinations. That she’d had to come to terms with a real-life spirit who resembled the man sitting in front of her. But that wasn’t the truth. Not the whole truth, anyway.
“My fiancé and I haven’t been in a good place for a long time. He didn’t want to move here. We agreed to give it six months.”
Derrick leaned back and put his empty bowl on the bedside table before he stretched out and propped his head on his palm. “That explains the pictures.”
“The pictures?”
He nodded. “You have none. Your house is devoid of any personalization. It’s like walking into the pages of a magazine spread. Perfectly styled without art or the odd frame from a spring break trip to Cabo with friends.”
Tina wrinkled her nose. “Definitely no Cabo.”
“Fine, then Bora Bora.”
“Now you’re talking,” she said.
When he didn’t reply, she continued. “I like a clean house. A simple aesthetic. My fiancé does, too. If we want pictures, we have our phones. Not everyone clutters every surface with mementos from three Christmases ago.”
“No,” Derrick said. “But there is some sort of indication that the house is a reflection of a person’s style. I’m in people’s homes every week. Trust me, I know.”
Tina thought about her office, about the one place that she’d felt like she left her mark and hated that he was right about the rest of the rooms. “It’s simpler this way.”
Derrick’s smile was patient, but his gaze remained laser focused on hers. “Simpler. Okay. Then what’s the plan after six months?”
“I want to stay,” she said. “I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved this house. Forget your asshole brother who is currently making it a bit difficult to live here. When I saw it for the first time, something clicked for me. This was where I wanted the second stage of my life to be.”
“Did you picture Logan in that second phase of your life?”
She paused, trying to process his question. “Excuse me?”
Derrick reached across the bedspread and stroked her knee. “Did you picture Logan when you thought about life after New York City? When you envisioned a picket fence and kids and the minivan?”
“No,” she said quietly. Her stomach twisted. Her heart hurt. “No, I didn’t picture Logan with me. I guess that’s why it was so easy to agree to a six-month deadline.”
Derrick nodded. He tucked his tongue in his cheek. “What brought both of you together in the first place?”
Tina thought back to when their relationship was good and was drawing a blank. Maybe it was all good? Or was it just convenient? “We are similarly suited people. We met through mutual friends. We liked the same wine bars and restaurants. We preferred New York in the spring. We were logical. Pragmatic about our futures. We were focused on our careers. It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t mind that you work all the time.”
“When did it stop being easy between you two?”
Tina pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her calves. “After he proposed, I think. I just couldn’t commit to a wedding date. To any plans. I just wanted us to keep things the same. At least for a little while. Then after a year and a half, he stopped asking me to pick a date. A location. Anything. His father had open-heart surgery, and he had to travel back and forth to visit. He also received a promotion, so there were more work trips.”
“Was that okay with you?” Derrick asked.
She didn’t know why he was so curious about her relationship with Logan, but she didn’t mind telling him. It was nice having someone care. “At first, it felt like overkill. Going to his parents every weekend formonthswas just…I don’t know. But then something changed. I made more plans by myself or with acquaintances in the city. Plans that didn’t include him. When he was home, his presence was what became the inconvenience.”
“You preferred time alone rather than with the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with,” Derrick said.
“Exactly,” Tina said.
There was that guilt again. Sharp and sweet in her belly. “Derrick?” she said as she began rocking back and forth. “Can I ask you a question?”
