Page 7 of Pumpkin Patch Pack
Maple drops the dildo onto the grass, staring Liam down as he charges her. As soon as he gets close, she picks it back up—now covered in grass and dirt—and darts in the opposite direction.
Several farmworkers turn to watch the spectacle. Seeing one of their bosses chasing the goat with the new hire not far behind, their expressions shift from curiosity to confusion to amusement when they see what the goat has in her mouth.
Heat floods my face, burning to the tips of my ears. I can’t keep running, huffing and puffing. I put my hands on my knees to catch my breath.
I want to die.
I want the earth to open up and swallow me whole.
I catch my breath and return to my pursuit, my face burning hotter by the second as I stumble across the uneven ground.
Maple veers sharply toward the farmhouse porch, where I can see Theo arranging decorative gourds. He looks up at the commotion.
“Catch her!” Liam shouts.
Theo’s reflexes are good. He moves quickly to intercept the goat, arms outstretched to block her path. But Maple is better. She feints left, then dodges right between his legs, leaving him grabbing at air. Then, with a triumphant bleat, she bounds up the porch steps.
“What in the—” Theo begins, then stops abruptly as he spots what’s in Maple’s mouth. His eyebrows shoot up toward his hairline, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ of surprise. He lets out a booming laugh in reaction.
I skid to a halt at the bottom of the steps, mortification rendering me temporarily immobile. Liam takes them two at a time.
“Give me that, you little demon,” he growls, cornering Maple against the wall.
The goat looks at him, then me, as if calculating her options. Then, with what I swear is a gleam of mischief in her eyes, she drops my purple companion at Liam’s feet with a wet plop—covered in muck and slobber, with little goat-shaped bite marks up and down its shaft.
Silence falls.
Terrible, excruciating silence.
Liam stares at the dildo, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
Theo stares at the dildo, his lips twitching with the effort not to smile.
I stare at the dildo, wishing for spontaneous combustion or perhaps a convenient sinkhole.
Finally, Liam bends down and—oh gawwd—picks it up.
His massive hand dwarfs what I’d considered a pretty big dick as he straightens, his nostrils flaring. He wipes the slobber off on his jeans, gently brushing the grass and leaves off.
Theo clears his throat. “Well,” he says, “that’s one way to make a first impression.”
“Theo,” Liam warns, his voice a low rumble.
I force myself to climb the steps, dignity in tatters but determined to salvage what I can of this catastrophe. “I’ll take that,” I say, extending my hand and praying my voice doesn’t crack.
Liam’s eyes meet mine before carefully placing the toy in my palm.
“Sorry about Maple,” he says gruffly. “She’s… a tyrant.”
“And apparently has excellent taste in chew toys,” Theo adds, earning a death glare from Liam.
Is it possible to die of embarrassment? Because that would solve several of my current problems.
I clutch my dildo to my chest. “I should… go put this away,” I manage.
Theo steps forward, still a hint of amusement in his eyes, mercifully drawing attention away from me.
“I’ll take Maple to her pen. She’s done enough damage for one day.” He grabs the goat’s collar, but not before she bleats at me again, almost apologetically.
