Page 64 of A Lot to Unpack
‘I really admire that,’ I reassure him with a smile.
‘That I’m more safety than sexy?’ he jokes. ‘Thanks. I get that some people are going to use it for different reasons, and that’s okay, but for the people who are looking for something more serious, I want that to work too. I don’t want people on there looking for a partner to be seeing photos of your ex-boyfriend’s knob.’
‘I felt the same way,’ I joke.
After clearing our plates, and talking more with Giorgio and his friends, Jordan says it’s time for act three, which is only a short walk away – and a surprise.
‘So, are you looking forward to Christmas?’ he asks.
‘Erm, sort of,’ I reply. ‘I’ll be spending it with my family but, before any of us can get festive, we’ve got my cousin Hannah’s wedding.’
‘You don’t sound too excited about that,’ he points out.
‘I don’t suppose I am,’ I reply. ‘I’m not exactly in her good books. In fact, I recently found out she had uninvited me from her wedding – but only when she invited me again.’
I laugh.
‘Oh, boy,’ Jordan replies. ‘What does a person have to do, to get uninvited from a family wedding?’
‘So, it was at her engagement party where I found out what Ben, my ex, was up to,’ I explain. ‘And I didn’t find out in the nicest way, so I very publicly imploded.’
‘Understandable, given what you went through,’ he reassures me.
‘Not to the blushing bride,’ I reply. ‘Except she wasn’t blushing, she was boiling red with anger. But I’m back on the guest list, and I’m still allowed to bring a plus one. It just has to be a good one, apparently.’
‘Someone said that to you?’ he replies.
‘Yeah, I’m assuming there will be some kind of quality check on the day,’ I half joke, because there might be. ‘So, I’m not sureI’ll find the calibre of man I need between now and then,’ I point out. ‘It’s a couple of days after we fly back. The last thing I want to do is embarrass myself again.’
‘Well, I’m not going to recommend you use Matcher to find a plus one,’ he replies. ‘I’d feel somehow responsible, if you got a dud.’
‘Well, I don’t even think I’m going to try,’ I tell him. ‘I mean, come on, after this date tonight, how is any man ever going to be able to compete again?’
He raises an eyebrow.
‘So this is a date?’ he teases.
So much for laying off the embarrassment.
‘I’m joking,’ he replies, nudging me lightly with his elbow. ‘I’m definitely counting this as a date.’
‘Then it’s easily in my top ten,’ I point out with a smile. ‘It might actually be the only one in the top ten. I feel like I’ve only been on bad dates, since Ben and I broke up.’
‘That bad?’ he says. ‘All of them?’
‘All of them,’ I insist. ‘Every last one.’
‘Go on then, tell me about them, it will make me feel like a regular Prince Charming,’ he replies. ‘I could do with the ego boost.’
‘Well, one time I visited Paris, and I was having an absolute nightmare with a revolving door when this dreamy Frenchman rocked up, saved the day and then took me on a dream date of an evening,’ I start.
‘You’re supposed to be making me feel better about myself,’ he points out, still smiling, of course.
‘Oh, just wait,’ I tell him. ‘So we had a lovely time, he showed me the sights, took me for dinner – amazing. But then we got back to the hotel and it turned out he wasn’t even French, he was English, there on a business trip, and he thought I mightbe more likely to sleep with him if I thought he was Henri from Paris, not Henry from Milton Keynes.’
‘Ah,’ he says.
‘Yeah, and the irony there is that I’ve obviously slept with way more Englishmen than I have Frenchmen, so the odds were in his favour.’
