Page 7 of A Lot to Unpack
Oh, that’s so low, such a dirty trick, using my dad as a human shield. Then again, isn’t that exactly the sort of behaviour you would expect from the kind of man who sends pictures of his knob to other people, behind his girlfriend’s back?
I notice Hannah out of the corner of my eye, greeting guests, and I remember what she said about me allegedly stealing the attention, so I need to keep a lid on my rage, to get through this party, but the second it’s over, and we’re back in the relative privacy of our hotel room, we’ll get into it.
But for now… I’m going to have to smile, make small talk, and pretend everything is fine.
Even though everything definitely is not.
3
I’m not sure what is the warmest – the sunny weather, my glass of prosecco that is heating up by the second or my blood, which is positively boiling.
My smile is in place, fixed so firmly it looks like it could be painted on. It doesn’t move, not even a millimetre, not even when I drink. I need to keep it together, for Hannah, but I also need answers for myself. I want to confront Ben, and I won’t make a scene, it will simply look like the two of us are having a nice little chat – except he knows I want to talk to him, so he’s doing everything he can to prevent that from happening. Surely he knows all he’s doing is buying himself time? It’s a stupid strategy, because I’m only getting more annoyed by the second.
I have to hand it to him, he’s doing a great job. Using my parents as human shields is – wow – chef’s kiss.
‘Ben?’ I say, trying to intercept him outside the toilets. The outside area has its own toilet block so I’ve been hanging around outside it, like a weirdo, waiting for him to come back out. Impressive, really, that he’s managed to hide in there for eighteen minutes.
‘Ben, we need to talk,’ I say, walking alongside him, synchronising my steps with his, trying to match his pace.
‘Linda!’ Ben calls out, grabbing one of my distant cousins from seemingly nowhere. ‘Linda – Liberty was looking for you, she was just telling me how much she wanted to catch up with you.’
I mean, I absolutely wasn’t, but now I have to make small talk with Linda for long enough that she doesn’t feel bad, or like I don’t really want to talk to her. My God, who knew this man was such a master of deception? I’m always in awe of some of the tactics they use at work to try to get the information or evidence they need for various cases. I always wish I could be all cool and secret agent-like, but I’m only an assistant, in the most admin-y way. Ben has clearly been taking notes though.
Small talk suitably chatted, I make my excuses and set about looking for him again, scanning the crowd, eventually spotting him with my Uncle Clive.
I sidle up next to Ben and gently place a hand on his arm.
‘Can I borrow you, please?’ I ask him.
‘In a minute,’ Ben replies. ‘We’re having an important conversation.’
‘Give over, lad, we’re talking about water butts,’ Uncle Clive says with a snort. ‘It’ll keep.’
‘Canapé?’ a waiter asks, presenting us with a tray of incredibly fancy, super-tiny pieces of food. The kind where you can’t work out what they’re made of by simply looking at them.
Generously, I’d say Ben is only trying to get away from me but there’s a strong chance he did what he just did on purpose – he’s bumped into the waiter, sending the tray and its contents to the ground below. It doesn’t make the loudest noise, it’s landed on the grass, but a nearby female guest screams – that’s the loudest noise, it turns out.
I notice Hannah staring at us, with a look on her face that says ‘how did I know Liberty would be at the centre of the chaos?’ but you can’t blame me for this one. Well, I guess you can, technically, but no jury in their right mind would convict me today, given the evidence.
‘I’ll go get someone to help you,’ Ben tells the waiter.
‘Ben, wait,’ I call after him, but he’s off.
I keep on his tail, trying to stay as chill as possible, but the more he avoids me, the worse he makes things for himself. I’m going to be honest with you: as much as I would love to avoid the hassle of blowing my life up, I’m struggling to see a universe where I can forgive Ben for this. Well, why would I? He’s a liar and a cheat – but I deserve an explanation. I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to achieve by running from me. Maybe he thinks I’ll get tired or I’ll calm down or I’ll forget? Is he crazy?
As he passes my parents, back over towards the toilet block (his tactic can’t surely be faking another wee, can it?), I notice my mum collar him. Yes, Mum, stop that man! Oh, and she’s hooking her arm with his. He’s not going anywhere for the moment.
‘Liberty!’ Mum says cheerily. ‘I was just saying to Ben, Dad and I wanted a photo together, and his phone has the best camera. He always gets the best pictures.’
Ben and I have the exact same phone, and therefore the exact same camera, but he does seem to take better photos. I guess I know what he’s been practising on.
‘Yes, of course,’ he tells them, taking a step back to get them in the frame.
They smile widely and obliviously as he snaps a few photos, and that’s when it hits me – I know exactly what I need to do. Well, Ben isn’t saying anything, and they do say a picture is worth a thousand words, don’t they?
‘I know, why don’t I take a photo of all three of you!’ I suggest with the most enthusiasm I think I’ve ever exhibited.
‘Oh, that would be wonderful,’ Mum replies.
