Page 41 of A Lot to Unpack
Then I started wondering: What would Tom Cruise do? I think it might have been the jetlag, but still, I gave it some thought.
I mean, obviously, he would climb out the window, shimmy across the building,Mission: Impossiblestyle, and sneak in through Jordan’s window. Two problems there. One is that I completely lack the physical strength and skill to pull that off without dying. The other is that even if I could make it to his window alive, it’s not going to be open; it’s December, so there’s no way I’d get inside. Tom always had tech. The closest thing I have to a gadget is a watch that sometimes tells me when I’ve ovulated.
As I said, I probably should have tried to sleep more on the place.
But I’m up and at ’em now, well rested, and at Matcher US HQ.
Jordan is currently in their meeting room – which only has glass walls, of course – and I am sitting outside, watching, and feeling a bit left out. Well, as he keeps reminding me, he doesn’t need me for anything. We’re not the only two here from London, there are other members of the UK team in there, it’s just me he’s leaving out in the cold. So to speak. I’m grateful I’m allowed in the building. It’s nippy out there today.
The office is a lot like the London one – contemporary, stylish furniture and minimalist décor – except it’s bigger, taller, and flashier. And best of all: the lifts work. Which is fortunate, because we’re so much higher up here, and (similarly to scaling a building) I lack the physical skills required to climb so many flights of stairs.
I glance through the glass wall again. Jordan is standing at the head of the table, sleeves rolled up, his hands moving ashe talks. Everyone is laughing. Honestly, you would think he was doing stand-up, not holding a meeting. I wonder what he’s saying, what they’re all finding so funny. Perhaps they’re all giddy about how popular the app is, how many people are using it, with no regard for how many people are winding up collateral damage in the process.
I can’t get a read on his body language, not really. Obviously he’s magnetic. His charm is impossible to ignore. He’s so laid back, he isn’t trying too hard, but because he knows he doesn’t need to. Understandably, it’s the women who are drawn to him the most but the men hang off his every word too. He’s got the entire room eating out of the palm of his hand.
What I find the most interesting of all is that, despite him being so handsome, charming and successful, he doesn’t make anyone nervous. It’s like he has this way of making everyone woman feel like she has a shot with him (by all accounts from Paige, they do) but I suppose it’s kind of nice. It clearly makes people feel good about themselves, and it makes them want to be around him more.
I keep reminding myself what Paige told me. How he uses that charm. How he uses people. And Matcher, for all its romance-y pink branding and ‘happy ever after’ slogans, is used for hook-ups, for pervs to get their kicks – like Ben, sending photos of ‘Little Ben’ to everyone in a twenty-mile radius.
I wonder how many people are using this app to cheat on their partners? To deceive? To manipulate? How many Bens are out there, sliding into DMs with their unsolicited dick pics and secret girlfriends? And how many people are using it to try to find love? Imagine you’re some poor, innocent individual swiping, thinking you’re going to meet the person of your dreams – how are you supposed to know if people are really who they say they are? If they’re married? If they’re a good person? If they’re a serial killer, even, because you never know.
Trying to pull a switcheroo on Jordan’s contract might feel unethical but, when you think about it, he’s creating and promoting a platform that gives bad people an easy way to hurt those they supposedly love. He isn’t a poor, innocent bystander.
I wouldn’t usually call myself a doe-eyed romantic, and to each their own, everyone is entitled to live their lives the way they want to, but after what Ben did to me, dating apps scare the shit out of me. Would he have been sending those pictures to women if he hadn’t met them via an app? He was never the type to get chatting to girls in bars, it took me long enough to get him to open up and be more confident with me, so it had to be the app that emboldened him, that gave him the anonymity, that made him feel like he could do whatever he wanted, and fuck the consequences.
Perhaps I’m being grumpy, because I’m annoyed that I’m the only one not in the room. Why has Jordan left me out here, when the other UK team members are in there with him? He’s bathing everyone in his charm and attention and they’re basking in it. Am I actually jealous, or simply frustrated that I’m getting nowhere with him?
The problem is that Jordan doesn’t trust me, but I really need him to, which is further proof that he shouldn’t trust me… God, what a mess.
I watch him for a little longer before aimlessly scrolling and swiping around on my phone, looking for something to busy myself with. I’ve doomscrolled every app and social I have, Duolingo is done for the day, and I’ve run out of lives on all the dumb games I play when I can’t sleep.
Then I check WorkM8. Oh, I have a message.
MrLoveByte
How’s it going, NewGirl?
I can’t help but smile. I still don’t know who this guy is – assuming he is a guy, from the name – but I like getting his messages. It weirdly makes me feel less alone at Matcher.
His username is interesting. Obviously it’s a pun, byte with a y, as in gigabyte, and love because Matcher is supposedly where you find it. In any other context it might come across as a bit sleazy. Then again, maybe that is just my ick alarm, prematurely firing off a warning shot, in case I was even thinking of going there.
NewGirl
So far so good… I have a question though.
I pause. Should I actually ask him this? The question that is on my mind. I mean, I can’t ask Paige. I definitely can’t ask Jordan. But I’m curious. Ah, well, I’ve already started asking now.
NewGirl
Is Matcher ethical? Do you think everyone has good intentions?
I hit send and I have no time to wait for a reply, or to second-guess myself, because the meeting is over. Everyone is standing up, still laughing, slowly filtering out of the glass room.
Jordan spots me and heads over, still so easy-breezy.
‘You’re still here?’ he points out.
‘Of course,’ I reply, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.
