Page 9 of You Had Me at Chateau
‘Is he here yet?’ I can just about make out her ask giddily.
Ah, so it’s like that, is it? Someone more exciting than me is coming in. Someone famous, I’ll bet, because, honestly, itfeels like they’re publishing more celebrity-penned novels than ‘regular’ writer ones these days, and it’s not that I mind it, and I get that for the publisher it’s a no-brainer because these people come with a built-in audience, but so many of them are ghostwritten. And, again, I don’t mind it, but the people writing these books are often author friends of mine who just didn’t get the backing for books published under their own name. Sometimes I wonder if that’s what the future holds for me. I don’t exactly have the freedom to write what I want as it is. I would hate to write books to order for other people.
‘Hey, Amber, just a second,’ Jen calls after me as I reach the lift. ‘Here, take these. Examples of spice done well. Give them a go, see if you think it’s something you can do.’
‘Okay, thanks,’ I say, taking the three books she’s holding out in front of me.
Alone in the lift I examine them. Obviously they’re all authors who are with my publisher so one of them I know, one I’ve met and another I know of. I can give them a go, sure, but writing sex scenes isn’t something that comes all that naturally to me, so I’ve always just sort of danced around it.
Well, if I’ve got some time to kill, I may as well grab some lunch. I need to figure out what I’m going to say to Jen, when I go back, so that I don’t leave completely unhappy.
And I know just the person to ask.
5
‘“His pounding member swells in my hand as I spit on…”’
‘Words Ineverthought I would hear my brother say,’ I talk over him, cutting him off.
Tom laughs.
‘This is putting me off my panini,’ he says, his lunch in one hand, a book in the other.
Tom and I are tucked away in the corner of a café near his work. It’s the kind of place that seems to be used exclusively by businessmen and women, none of whom seem to stay longer than it takes them to grab a caffeine fix and a sandwich to take away. The service is frantic but efficient, like a well-oiled machine that goes at a million miles a minute. No one looks up from their phone, as they order their artisanal latte and quinoa salad, but no one expects them to. There’s a constant hum of activity – baristas shouting out orders, the hiss of the espresso machine, and snippets of business jargon being barked around. Oh, and then there’s me and Tom, sitting in the corner, reading the mucky bits in romance books while I dig into the avocado bagel that’s going to stop me getting on the property ladder until I’m in my forties.
He’s currently reading excerpts fromThe Harder the Heartby Kelsey Kane. I’m yet to meet Kelsey, she’s a debut, but there’s already talk about them making her horny professional golfer romance into a movie.
‘I would’ve made more use of the balls,’ he tells me.
I stare at him blankly.
‘Like, the golf balls, ball puns – I thought you were the writer,’ he jokes.
‘Sorry,’ I say with a laugh. ‘I’m just… frazzled. The last thing I thought she was going to do was send me away with a pile of horny homework and expect me to flick through it over lunch.’
As soon as the words leave my lips, I realise what I’ve said.
‘Don’t,’ I quickly insist.
‘Oh my God. “He fills me with his?—”’
‘Fore!’ I call out, stopping him in his tracks. ‘I can probably guess.’
‘Seems more like an eight, from what I’m reading,’ Tom jokes. ‘Eat your bagel. I’ll do your homework for you.’
Tom is a corporate lawyer, and a good one at that, so I figured if there was anyone who could send me back into my meeting with Jen armed with a bunch of buzzwords to get me what I want, it would be him. He’s also someone I can always count on to cheer me up, when I’m feeling down in the dumps.
He picks up another book.Summer at Cove Bayby L. E. Price.
‘Well, for starters, before we even get to the mucky stuff, I’m pretty sure a cove is just a type of bay, so that’s a silly name,’ he points out. ‘Still, let’s give it a chance.’
Tom thumbs through the pages until he gets to the subject matter we’re after.
‘Wow, Chapter Three, we’re going for it,’ he tells me. ‘Let’s see. Oh… oh, oh, God.’
‘Don’t make it sound like you’re joining in,’ I joke.
‘It’s a solo scene,’ he informs me. ‘“I wasn’t expecting the new lifeguard to be so hot, but I need him, I need him to save me. My knees are weak, my heart is beating behind my big breasts. Just thinking about his rock-hard abs makes me flick my?—”’
