Page 67 of You Had Me at Chateau
‘Yeah, although it’s definitely more fun doing it with someone else,’ he tells me with a smile. ‘Who knows what I would have done with that necklace, if you weren’t here.’
I laugh.
‘Okay, I am not a necklace kind of guy, but if you can snap some photos of me in this chain, I think we can call it a day,’ Caleb says, handing me the camera. He holds up a sleek silver chain with various charms hanging off it then pulls a face as he puts it on.
I take the camera and grin.
‘I don’t know, I think it kind of suits you,’ I tell him, adjusting the lens like I know what I’m doing. ‘But maybe that’s because it’s more subtle than the one I’m wearing.’
‘Speaking of subtle,’ he starts, shifting his weight and turning his head for a better angle. ‘Have you managed to get any writing done?’
I laugh, nodding as I snap a few shots.
‘Yes, well, I did a little last night,’ I reply. ‘Do you know what, it’s weirdly fun, trying to do a bad job on purpose.’
‘Really?’ Caleb raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.
‘Yeah, it’s strange,’ I continue, lowering the camera for a moment. ‘It’s like an extra challenge, trying to take the piss out of myself. It’s easy to write all the clichés and use all the plot devices that drive readers mad, but I think the thing that I’m loving the most is just creating absolute chaos.’
‘And how do you create chaos in a book?’ Caleb asks curiously, resuming his poses with a mix of seriousness and playfulness.
‘Almost everyone’s name begins with a J,’ I tell him proudly, framing another shot. ‘Jane, Jade, John, Jack – Gemma, so that it isn’t obvious – Jacob, Jenny. Jade and Jane are sisters, and Jack is in love with Jade, no, wait, with Jane, but he’s in a relationship with a girl called Jenna. I keep switching tenses, and having characters head downstairs to the loft, and you would be surprised how many different ways there are to type the word “okay”. Honestly, it’s a mess.’
Caleb shakes his head, laughing.
‘I have a headache just thinking about it,’ he says. ‘Honestly, it sounds infuriating to read. So, good job there.’
‘It’s kind of liberating too,’ I tell him. ‘Like, there’s no pressure to get it right. It’s the opposite, actually. The more chaotic, the better – I’m even finding that I’m doing a good job by accident, from time to time.’
‘Sounds like a nightmare and a dream at the same time,’ he says with a laugh.
‘All right, I think we’ve got enough shots. You can ditch the ugly chain now,’ I tell him, pulling a face.
My phone starts ringing, the screen lighting up with a FaceTime call from Tom.
‘It’s my brother,’ I tell Caleb, holding up the phone as if to explain the interruption. ‘Things are a bit weird at home at the moment.’
‘Take the call,’ Caleb says, waving me off with a smile. ‘I’ll sit at the table, out of the way.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, grateful for his understanding.
I swipe to answer the call and Tom’s face appears on the screen, looking as exasperated as ever.
‘Hello,’ I say brightly.
‘Amber! Honestly, they’re driving me crazy, I can’t believe you’ve left me with them,’ he begins, not wasting a second on pleasantries.
‘What now?’ I ask, already bracing myself for the onslaught of family drama.
‘They’re like… competing for my affection, like I’m a kid they’re fighting over, both trying to get onside, to turn me against the other.’
‘Oh boy,’ I blurt.
‘And the fact that it’s Christmas is only making them more nuts,’ he continues. ‘They’re trying to one-up each other with the Christmas decorations too. Mum’s got this ridiculously huge wreath for the front door, which Dad hates because he says it makes the door too heavy. So Dad went and bought a Santa that inflates to the size of a small car, and put it right next to Mum’s parking space because he knows she struggles to park in tight spots. And now Mum’s talking about getting an electricdiffuser with cinnamon in it, because she knows it messes with his sinuses. She’s basically soft poisoning him, Amber!’
I can’t help but laugh.
‘But she’s the one who finds him the most annoying, when he has a blocked nose, and he acts like he’s dying,’ I point out.
