Page 53 of You Had Me at Chateau
I hold my glass, as instructed, my ring clearly on show. I wait for the contents of my glass to settle, take a deep breath in, then as I slowly breathe out I hit the button.
‘How’s that?’ I say, showing him the new photo.
Caleb leans over to inspect my work, a smile spreading across his face.
‘Look at that, it’s perfect,’ he tells me. ‘See how you captured so much more detail?’
‘It’s the best photo I’ve ever taken in my life,’ I say, semi-seriously. I was joking but the more I look at it, the more I think it actually might be. ‘Boys can be dicks, when you take too many food pictures.’
Caleb laughs, I think because I said boys instead of men, almost like I’m chatting to him like we’re teenage gal pals.
‘Men, I mean,’ I quickly correct myself. ‘On dates and stuff. I think some of them see it as a red flag.’
‘Do you know what I see as a red flag?’ he replies. ‘People who care about stuff like that. If someone wants to take a fucking picture of a slice of cake, let them take a fucking picture of a slice of cake.’
I laugh.
‘Anyway, now for the easy part,’ he continues. ‘We get to eat it.’
I do not need telling twice.
‘So, are you ready to talk about your book?’ he asks as he digs in. ‘You made it sound like you might be struggling. Plus, I figure if you’ve taken yourself up a mountain, you must really need to concentrate.’
‘My editor sent me here, thinking it might help,’ I reply. ‘The problem is that my first books did really well, so my editor wants me to write more romcoms, but now she wants me to add in sex scenes. She doesn’t think what I’m doing is spicy enough.’
‘Oh,’ he says simply. ‘Do you not really get into the nitty-gritty with that stuff?’
‘I don’t,’ I reply. ‘Not because I’m opposed to it, because I’m just not a sexy human.’
He laughs.
‘I think I get what you’re saying,’ he replies. ‘So, what do you have so far?’
‘I have the bones of it, I just need to up the word count, and that’s where my editor wants me to add in the spicy scenes,’ I reply. ‘About 20k worth.’
‘Twenty thousand words of shagging?’ he replies. ‘Is that normal?’
‘Is any of this normal?’ I reply with a shrug.
‘Fair point,’ he says, thankfully understanding what I meant. ‘Perhaps I could help you?’
‘Oh yeah?’ I reply.
‘Yeah, when we’re done here, come back to my chalet,’ he suggests. ‘We can take some more photos – I’ve got more jewellery, clothes, face and body products, books, all sorts – and between shots maybe I can help you with your writing. Two heads are better than one, right?’
Of course, the first thought to pop into my cynical little brain is to wonder whether or not I really want to take writing advice from a celebrity who is publishing a ghostwritten book, but I guess two heads are better than one – the more head the better, as I’m sure my editor would say.
‘Okay, sure, thanks,’ I reply. ‘Maybe if we bounce off each other…’
Caleb’s eyebrows shoot up.
‘Not like that,’ I quickly add with a laugh.
‘You never know, it might work,’ he jokes. ‘But, hey, look, you’re talking dirty already. How hard can it be?’
‘Now you’re doing it,’ I point out, sniggering at his choice of words.
‘See, we make a great team,’ he points out.
