Page 40 of You Had Me at Chateau
‘Well, I may have… pretended to trip and fall, to see if he would rush to my aid,’ she tells us. ‘I thought that, if he likes to be a knight in shining armour, then I would throw myself at his mercy.’
‘And did he?’ I ask, unable to contain my curiosity.
Bette’s grin fades slightly.
‘Not exactly,’ she admits. ‘There I am, sprawled out on the floor, waiting for Henri to come rushing over with his charming smile to gallantly offer his big strong arms in assistance. Butinstead, he looks down at me and says, “Oh, my grandmother falls all the time. I’ll get a couple of the female staff to help you” – his grandmother, can you believe that?’
I can’t help but laugh at the image of Bette sprawled on the ground, only for Henri to be kind and caring, rather than taking advantage of her while she’s on the floor. She’s old enough to be his mum, at least. Did she really think that would work? He was probably just worried she had broken her hip, rather than instantly horny.
‘So I suppose I’m going to have to change strategy again,’ Bette concludes.
‘Do you think he’s grumpy or sunshine?’ Mandy wonders out loud. ‘I can’t tell, because he’s French, I think, but if I can work out which, I’ll play the other. That’s what I’m going to try first.’
‘I’m going for a combination of holiday romance and forbidden love,’ Gina announces with a sly smile. ‘I’m going to make him think he can’t have me, then that he can’t have me for long…’
‘And Amber is going for seduction, it turns out,’ Mandy adds.
I laugh, shaking my head.
‘No, no, no seduction,’ I protest. ‘The only person I’m planning on seducing here is myself, it turns out.’
Right on cue, a server walks into the room to check on us, overhearing what I just said. Her cheeks flush bright red, and she quickly mumbles an apology before darting out of the room again.
Awkward. So awkward.
Gosh, this whole thing has put me right off my second breakfast. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still eat it, but it won’t taste the same.
Is Gina right? Will setting the scene for seduction really work? Is the only way to find out to give it a go? I suppose it is, but how?
Wow, I guess I really am out of practice, if I don’t even know how to seduce myself.
18
I can’t quite believe I’m saying this but I’m in my room, with the contents of my romance hamper spread out in front of me, and I’m taking Gina’s advice.
Well, I’m taking part of her advice. I’ve set a romantic scene for myself, but the only thing I’ll be doing with my hands is writing – well, hopefully. So far it’s not so good.
I’m in my room, perched on the edge of my bed, wearing the ridiculously lacy, barely there lingerie from the hamper. I feel like I look like I’m about to shoot a low-budget porno, or the person on an Only Fans-type site who can’t even get people to subscribe to her free stuff.
With a glass of wine in one hand (yep, apparently I need to get drunk even just to woo myself, and yes, I know it’s not even lunchtime but cut me some slack, I’m trying to create a mood here) and my laptop balanced precariously on my knees, I’m trying my best to think spicy thoughts but really I’m thinking about everything else – did I turn off everything I needed to turn off in my flat, an argument I had in 2009, what time lunch is, who played the male lead in the movieJeepers Creepers…
Blah. No, stop it, think sexy thoughts, think sexy thoughts. I really can’t imagine this working for me but maybe that’s why it isn’t working. I just need to believe.
I’m doing my best. The room is dimly lit, with candles flickering softly on the bedside table. I have some romantic music playing quietly. The ambience is perfect, or at least it should be. The only thing I’m missing is a man – which is nothing new – but to be honest I’m not even sure that would help.
Oh, come on, Amber, you can do this. I take a big sip of wine – yes, I know it’s only lunchtime, but it’sfor my art.
I flick (poor choice of words) to a point in my manuscript where the main character and the love interest finally get together. This should be the perfect place for a spicy scene, right? I take a deep breath and try to channel my sex goddess.
He leaned in, his breath warm against my ear as he whispered…
Nope, too romantic, too soft, right? I delete the line and try again.
Our lips met in a passionate kiss, his hands roaming down to my…
No.
I grab his…
