Page 8 of The Suite Life
I’m sitting in a restaurant, a funky burger place I haven’t been to before, across the table from Doctor Mad, whose real name turns out to be Lewis.
The place is super-cool, with graffiti-style murals on the walls, mismatched furniture, and an array of quirky decorations everywhere the eye can see. Neon signs add a vibrant glow to the room, and the menu is filled with creative burger combinations that were almost impossible to choose between. It’s the kind of place where the vibe is just as important as the food.
‘No, not a real doctor,’ he replies with a laugh.
So far, I’ve learned that making videos is Lewis’s full-time job, and he’s clearly way into it because he gets so excited when he talks about it, and he hasn’t really asked any questions about me yet, preferring to talk about himself. If this were a real first date, and I could afford to be choosy, Lewis wouldn’t be doing all that well so far. But the night is young, and the food is imminent. It would have to be one hell of a bad date for me to walk away from the double cheeseburger and sweet potato fries I’ve ordered. I can practically smell it coming.
‘Reanna said you do hair too,’ Lewis eventually says, turning the conversation to me.
‘That’s right,’ I reply.
‘What do you think I should do with my hair next?’ he asks me. ‘I thought I might do a video where I let someone shave my head, for charity maybe.’
And the topic of conversation is right back to him again.
As Lewis messes with his phone, I look around the room to see if the food is on its way. It says a lot – and none of it good – when the food is more exciting than the person you’re sitting with. Sure enough, a server is heading our way with two large plates.
‘Nice one,’ Lewis says as she places the plates down in front of us.
‘Yes, thank you,’ I add.
God, it smells good. I grab a sweet potato fry and dip it in some tomato sauce before popping it in my mouth. Wow, it’s glorious. Just the right combination of crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.
Lewis removes the top from his burger and begins to peel the slice of cheese off from on top of the meat. I watch him, captivated, as he pops it in his mouth before returning the lid to his burger.
I cock my head and narrow my eyes as I watch him flag down a server.
‘Excuse me, this is supposed to be a cheeseburger,’ he tells her, ‘but there’s no cheese on it.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry, let me get that sorted for you,’ she says, her expression apologetic, as she takes his plate back to the kitchen.
I just stare at him for a moment.
‘Can I have a chip?’ he asks me, offering no explanation. ‘I’m starving.’
I nod towards my plate, by way of saying yes, because I can’t get any words to come out of my mouth.
‘Thanks,’ he replies.
I pick up my burger and take a bite. It tastes just as delicious as it looks with meat cooked to perfection, partially melted cheese, and pickles, which I know some people hate, but I love them.
Eventually, the server returns with Lewis’s burger and sets it down in front of him.
‘Here we go, so sorry for the mix-up,’ she tells him.
‘No problem at all,’ Lewis replies. ‘Cheers.’
I eat a couple more chips, trying to relax. But then I notice Lewis, once again, remove the top from his burger, peel the cheese away, eat it, and then return the lid.
My jaw drops as I watch him flag a different server down. Is he fucking serious right now?
‘Excuse me, pal, this is supposed to be a cheeseburger, but there’s no cheese in it,’ he tells him.
‘Sorry, bud, I’ll get that sorted for you,’ the server replies, taking Lewis’s plate and dashing off to the kitchen with it, keen to sort the problem.
Lewis smiles to himself.
‘Another chip?’ he asks me optimistically.
