Page 60 of The Suite Life
Lucy knows me better than anyone in the world, and this situation is undeniably sketchy. I wonder if even Lucy is beginning to doubt my version of events now. This is her wedding week, she’s supposed to be happy and enjoying herself, not worrying about me.
‘Sis, I’m fine, I promise you,’ I tell her, placing my hands on her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. ‘And I’m so, so excited for your wedding.’
She allows herself to sigh with relief.
‘Well, I’ll let you get to your dinner, and I’ll see you tomorrow,’ she says.
‘Yeah, see you tomorrow,’ I reply as I see her out.
I’m almost certain that, if I were to come clean to Lucy, and tell her that I don’t have a date for her wedding, that she wouldn’t judge me at all. She would be kind, understanding, and tell me that it didn’t matter. However, that’s the last thing I want to be putting on her, in the run-up to her big day. I don’t want her worrying about me or how I might be feeling.
All the more reason for me to turn up tonight and wow Jeff – but for good reasons, I hasten to add. I’ve managed to get the bad ‘wow’ down to a fine art.
29
Let me start by saying that, when Jeff pitched this ‘date’ to me, and really went the extra mile to reassure me that I would be safe, and that it wouldn’t be weird, the last thing I expected was for him to kick things off by blindfolding me.
And yet here I am, wearing a blindfold, with a man I hardly know. Truthfully, if I get murdered right now, I deserve it. I really don’t want to stop trusting people, or lose all the excitement from my life – I also don’t want to get murdered, though, so here’s hoping it’s a nice surprise he has waiting for me.
It’s a good job I’m excited because, were it not for that distracting me, I’m not sure travelling in a car with a blindfold on feels all that great.
The steady hum of the engine, the rhythmic vibrations beneath me, and the not-so-subtle sway with every turn that jolts me around. It’s disorientating and it’s making me feel ever so slightly carsick.
All I know so far is that Jeff has taken me on a mysterious adventure, but I have absolutely no clue about our destination. We hopped into a car, leaving the Grand Palm Resort behind,but Jeff only let me enjoy the scenic drive for a few minutes before it was time to be blindfolded. As you do.
Perhaps it’s something about being blindfolded that has made all of my other senses stronger, but everything feels heightened right now. I fell in love with the scent of Jeff’s aftershave, and it made my skin tingle, when he would give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Not only that but we’ve been chatting through the short journey, and we’re getting on really well. This is, so far, the makings of a dream date. I’m seriously impressed.
Potentially the only thing I need to worry about is that I don’t ruin it. I mean, come on, I’ve got previous.
We arrive at our destination and, after a short walk with Jeff carefully guiding me, it is finally time for me to take my blindfold off.
‘Here we are,’ he announces, a note of excitement in his voice.
I can hardly contain my curiosity as I remove the blindfold, squinting against the daylight. Slowly, the surroundings come into focus, but I have absolutely no idea where we are, or what we are inside. We’re standing inside a strange wooden stairwell.
‘Where are we?’ I ask, taking in my surroundings.
Jeff grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
‘Follow me and find out,’ he suggests as he heads up the stairs.
Intrigued, I follow Jeff up the winding staircase, trying to hide how tragically out of breath I am – who knew I was so unfit?
I’m so, so excited. I’ll say one thing about Jeff: Donnie may have thought he had an old man’s name, but Jeff sure knows how to set up one hell of an exciting date.
My imagination races ahead of me, envisioning a fancy and exclusive restaurant with a scenic view, or something equally unique. The thought of something special and romantic sendsmy mind into overdrive. In fact, I can feel my legs moving faster, despite my muscles feeling absolutely knackered, because I suppose I never really walk up more than a few steps.
‘You strike me as the kind of woman who likes to have fun,’ Jeff says, very much like it’s a compliment, as we reach the top of the stairs.
My smile drops and my breath catches in my throat as I realise what lies ahead of me. I’m not really sure what it is, exactly, I suppose it’s some kind of double zip line where people go two at a time, stepping off the platform before whizzing down together at an alarming speed and, oh my God, we are so, so high up. Panic sets in; obviously I’m terrified of heights, which Jeff doesn’t know, and he’s absolutely wrong in saying that I seem like the kind of woman who likes to have fun – it turns out I don’t. I’m the kind of woman who prefers a nice beige cardigan and a cup of tea, and having both feet planted firmly on solid ground. I am absolutely not the kind of woman who gets excited at the prospect of wilfully dangling from elevated podiums attached to glorified string.
I mean, come on, how safe is this anyway? Surely zip-lining is the kind of thrill-seeking activity that is exclusively for very brave, very experienced adrenaline junkies?
Right on cue, a child pushes past me, and it’s almost as though he senses my fear, because he laughs at me. Then he and his dad step to the edge and – poof – they’re gone.
Okay, so I am terrified, but there’s a part of me that appreciates Jeff’s effort to make this date unique and exciting. Maybe it’s a chance to confront my fears, or perhaps it’s a test of just how far I’m willing to go to find a date for this wedding. Am I really willing to face my biggest fear, just to impress a man?
‘Okay, guys, you’re up next,’ the instructor declares, and I swear I can feel the nachos I had earlier zip-lining from my stomach to my throat. My heart starts pounding as I desperatelysearch for an escape route, but, nope, we’re handed helmets and harnesses faster than you can say ‘wheeeee’.
