Page 70 of The Suite Life
‘I was on my way to talk to you, Ms Marsden, and I couldn’t help but overhear,’ the manager says, his apologetic face mirroring his sincere tone. ‘First of all, let me apologise for the noise – I will have the men removed immediately.’
‘Oh, God, no, don’t do that,’ I quickly insist, because I don’t actually mind that much, and I don’t want to ruin anyone’s day or embarrass them – I’m not Sunshine Greene. ‘We were just after a quiet few drinks – do you have anywhere else we could hang out? Like a private bar or function room or something?’
I’m channelling my inner G.G. Marsden right now, putting the theory to the test, to see whether staff here at the hotel really will say yes to anything I ask for.
‘Now that you mention it, our yacht is free today,’ the manager tells us, and it takes every facial muscle I have to keep my face neutral. ‘It’s fully staffed. You could take in the scenery – we have some beautiful views that can only be enjoyed from the water – you can have a meal, enjoy some more drinks from the on-board bar, and best of all you can get some peace and quiet,away from the resort for a few hours – all on us, of course, to say sorry for the disturbance today.’
I blink at him, momentarily taken aback by the grand gesture for what was barely a mild inconvenience.
‘That would be wonderful,’ I say, unintentionally slipping further into my G.G. Marsden persona.
He looks relieved that I’ve taken it so well, to the point where I wonder if the actually wealthy guests usually kick off at him.
‘Would you like your party to join you?’ he enquires.
In my mind, I translate that to: Would you like Donnie to join you? What an incredibly fancy way to ask a simple question.
‘I would love for my party to join me,’ I reply, stifling a laugh, in my best la-di-da voice, flashing a playful smile at Donnie.
He looks thrilled, and I can’t blame him. The idea of being on a yacht is as surreal as it is exciting. I can’t imagine Donnie has ever been on one either – because, come on, how many people actually have? – so it’s going to be a fun first time for both of us.
‘Fabulous,’ the manager replies. ‘I will go make the arrangements, you two finish your drinks, and I will be back for you when it’s time to board.’
Time to board! Incredible. Although I don’t think I will actually believe it is happening until my feet are firmly on the deck – look at me, already knowing the lingo (I think?). It’s like I was born for this life, and this whole name mix-up is just karma, putting things right, ushering me into the lifestyle I so clearly deserve.
I take a big gulp of my mai tai and immediately hiccup loudly, practically projecting it at the poor hotel manager, making him jump. Okay, maybe not, but I’m here for a good time, not a long time, so I’ll take my yacht while I can.
‘Splendid,’ I say, cringing at my choice of words. Maybe I did slip a little too far into character there.
The manager heads off to ‘make the arrangements’, leaving me and Donnie alone again. We exchange bemused glances, our jaws fully dropped.
‘We’re going on a yacht,’ he says simply.
‘We’re going on a yacht,’ I repeat back to him.
‘Look at us,’ he jokes.
‘Look at us,’ I reply with a laugh. ‘Going on a yacht!’
‘Well, I can’t think of a better way to spend the day,’ he says.
‘And neither can I,’ I tell him.
And I mean it. Just me and Donnie, on a yacht. It’s going to be absolutely perfect and, best of all, there’s going to be no one else around to ruin it.
Bon voyage!
34
When the hotel manager told me that they had a yacht, I imagined, well, a yacht. A boat-type thing, with a cabin below deck, maybe consisting of a few small rooms, and maybe a nice comfortable spot to sit above deck.
This – this thing in front of me – isn’t a boat. It’s more like a bloody cruise liner.
‘This is just so much bigger than I imagined,’ I blurt, unable to keep a lid on it.
‘It’s a superyacht,’ a crew member wearing navy-blue trousers and a crisp white shirt informs us as he escorts us on board.
‘It really is,’ Donnie replies. ‘It’s more than super, in fact, it’s incredible.’
