Page 46 of Ex in the City
‘You’re back,’ Archie says.
Ned just squeezes my leg. The two of them look so happy to see me.
Then I look up and see, hanging from the banister, a handmade banner that reads:
Welcome home, Mummy!
I hold my breath as I look at it.
‘Do you like it?’ Rowan asks me. ‘The boys missed you so much, they wanted to make you a banner and – boys, go get Nicole the presents you made her.’
‘Okay,’ they both say before charging up the stairs.
My heart swells at the sight of them.
‘They really did miss you,’ Rowan tells me when we’re alone. ‘I missed you too.’
Rowan ushers me into the kitchen and I can tell from his expression that he wants to talk.
‘Nicole, listen, I’m sorry for how I reacted,’ he starts, his voice earnest. ‘I just… I admit it, I felt threatened. Seeing you with Dylan, I couldn’t help but overreact, seeing him being close with the boys – come on, he’s Dylan King. But I shouldn’t have acted so insecure. I want to make things right, Nic. I want to play nice and help out with the fundraiser. I want to be better, for the boys, and I want to be better for you too.’
I appreciate Rowan’s honesty but, deep down, I know that things between us have changed irreparably. It’s not just about the way he’s acting because Dylan is here; our relationship has run its course. I don’t trust him, and you can’t truly love someone you don’t trust, no matter how hard you try.
‘Thank you for the apology,’ I say softly. ‘I appreciate where you’re coming from.’
Rowan smiles, relieved that the beef is squashed – well, the new beef, at least.
‘Okay, well, I’m going to check on dinner, and the boys have made you something,’ he tells me. ‘I just want you to see how much we appreciate you.’
As he walks away to check on dinner, I’m left with a bittersweet feeling, and more than a pang of guilt. The kids missed me and, you know what, I missed them just as much. I’ve been around them every day for almost three years, that’s a long time. I’m not only breaking up with Rowan, I’m breaking up with them too. And now I feel like one hell of a villain, but I can’t stay with Rowan for the kids, can I? Would he still let me see them, if we did break up? Thinking about it, with everyone pretty much reimbursed, and only a few ‘family’ social posts to go, the boys are the only reason I’m still here – well, that and not having sorted anywhere to go yet, but it’s so hard to pull the trigger, to shake up their world like that.
Everything is such a mess. I have no idea how I’m going to sort it.
23
The weather today is dreary and unforgiving, with relentless rain hammering down, and skies so dark I’m not convinced it isn’t night-time. It feels as though this winter has lasted a lifetime and, for some reason, spring is refusing to turn up. It’s one of those days when an umbrella is a futile accessory.
Of course, given how dark, cold, wet and windy it is, obviously today is the day I managed to absent-mindedly grab a coat without a hood, and it’s not the kind of weather an umbrella could survive.
I make a mad dash from my car to the school entrance, my coat held over my head, but I feel soaked through within seconds. The wind cuts through my thin coat as I sort myself out to head inside, before quickly stepping through the school reception doors.
The first thing I spot is Rebecca and Lisa, the two of them deep in conversation about something. I wonder if I can sneak past them but, oh, too late, they’ve seen me.
‘Good morning, Nicole,’ Rebecca greets me with a warm (but entirely forced) smile.
‘Morning,’ I reply, my teeth chattering slightly from the cold.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rebecca asks, narrowing her eyes. ‘Oh, you’re here to be under Dylan.’
‘Under him?’ I enquire, perplexed.
‘His understudy,’ she explains, grinning. ‘Will musical duties fall on you when his strange little holiday is over?’
‘I’m just here to help out,’ I reply matter-of-factly, ignoring whatever she’s getting at.
‘I absolutely love your theme for the fundfair!’ Lisa says, changing the subject. ‘I am celebrity obsessed so I had to get involved. Do you think Dylan might do a song?’
‘You can ask him,’ I answer with a smile. ‘I think he’s looking forward to it. Anyway, I’d better head in.’
