Page 54 of Ex in the City
‘You just hold super still,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll yank them.’
I, of course, instantly regret using the word ‘yank’ because Jamie is straight in there with the obvious joke.
‘That’s it, that’s it,’ Mikey says as I make progress, and I do wish he would try a little harder to make this not sound sexual. ‘There we go!’
And… they’re off.
My God, I’m roasting now. I quickly whip back the curtain, to get some air, only for Tara to see the two of us emerging, both red-faced, Mikey all sweaty and – regrettably – without any trousers on.
‘I understand people in your industry have… these urges,’ Tara says through gritted teeth. ‘But can you please… not… thank you.’
Her voice gets higher with each word.
‘Don’t worry about the rest of us,’ Jamie tells her. ‘This just classic them – they do this all the time, can’t take them anywhere.’
My eyes snap in Dylan’s direction. I can see his jaw clenching and he’s fidgeting, tapping his thumb with each of his fingers, but worst of all is the fact that he can’t even look at me right now.
There’s an awkward conversation Dylan and I need to have, about what happened between me and Mikey, and I know what you’re thinking but it’s not that. It’s quite the opposite really.
I walk over to Dylan.
‘Can we go for a quick walk?’ I ask him quietly. ‘I need some air.’
‘Sure,’ he replies.
We duck out and head down a few stairs, eventually popping out on the homeware floor. For a minute or two we browse, over in a quiet corner where no one seems to be looking – I suppose the stuff over here is kind of kooky. I pick up various large candles, all of them in what have to be purposefully phallic shapes, as I wonder how I’m going to say what I need to tell him.
‘Okay, we need to have an awkward conversation,’ I say.
‘Which one?’ Dylan asks as he carefully places down the unusual ornament he was just examining – probably trying to work out what it is supposed to be.
Because of course there are two awkward conversations we need to have.
‘The Mikey one,’ I clarify.
Dylan takes a deep breath. I brace myself.
‘Look, Nic, it’s fine,’ he tells me, not exactly sounding like it’s fine. ‘Do I love that you were with my brother? No, obviously not, because – well, it doesn’t matter why now. But it was a long time ago. We’ve all grown and changed and all that shit. When we had the chat, about the band getting back together, Mikey and I decided that we just wouldn’t talk about the past. I figured you and I could do the same.’
‘Okay but, here’s the thing, I wasn’t completely honest with you back then,’ I confess. ‘And you’re right, we’ve all grown and changed, so I’m hoping you’ll understand.’
Dylan stares at me, an almost terrified look in his eye. It feels like it takes me a lifetime to start talking again. I just need to blurt it out.
‘Dill, nothing ever happened, between Mikey and me,’ I tell him. ‘We both lied to you.’
His terror changes to confusion. His brow wrinkles and his jaw drops slightly.
‘Nic, I’m not a baby,’ he insists. ‘And I’m over it. You don’t need to pretend it didn’t happen for my benefit.’
‘I only pretended itdidhappen for your benefit,’ I go on. ‘Right, just listen to me for a second, hear me out until the end.’
I need to explain, from start to finish, and I need to make sure I recap every last detail for him, because I don’t know how sharp those memories are for him now.
‘It was just before you guys called it quits with the band,’ I explain. ‘We had our… we went on our holiday, after our respective break-ups.’
‘Awkward conversation number two,’ he says.
‘Yep, awkward conversation number two,’ I reply, laughing just a little. I love that, even when he’s serious, he’s still funny. ‘When we got back from holiday, and with all the bad press you were getting – Dill, you were in a really bad way. You were a mess, you were drinking probably the most I’d ever seen you drink, you didn’t care about the band, or yourself, or anything. You and I were in a bad spot, and there was so much tension building between you and Mikey, and every gig you did only left your fans feeling disappointed. The Burnouts were over, no matter what I did, and I see that now but, at the time, I just felt like I needed to do something. We were all talking about you, all the time, any chance we got, trying to work out what to do with you. That night, on the last tour, Mikey and I were talking, trying to figure out how we could get you into a rehab. People kept walking into the dressing room, so we went into the bathroom.’
