Page 53 of Ex in the City
Jamie, in his quest to push it even further than Taz, heads straight for the women’s rail where he spots a neon-green dress with feather boa straps hanging from a hook.
Without hesitation, he drapes it in front of his body, parading around as if he’s on a catwalk.
‘That actually suits you,’ Mikey tells him. ‘Perfect for helping a forgettable bassist stand out.’
‘Ooh, someone thinks that, just because he’s been on the telly, he’s a big shot now,’ Jamie teases him in return. ‘I suppose you’re too good to try on something silly – I bet you do this sort of thing all the timeon TV.’
You’ve got to love how Jamie is using Mikey’s success to mock him. That’s a special talent.
‘Well, that’s where you’re wrong,’ Mikey replies as he grabs a pair of tight-looking leather trousers.
He heads behind the curtain to change, but within moments, we hear muffled swearing.
‘Uh, guys, I think I’m stuck!’ Mikey’s voice calls out in a mild panic from behind the curtain.
‘Yeah, all right, pull the other one,’ Dylan calls back. ‘We’re not falling for that one.’
Mikey whips open the curtain and the sight of him standing there, in a pair of leather trousers that are too small to fasten,with a solemn look on his face, is enough to send me into hysterics. The other boys are loving it too.
‘I thought you had to keep trim for the telly,’ Jamie teases.
‘I am,’ Mikey insists. ‘It’s just… I guess these are women’s trousers?’
Well, that just makes everyone laugh harder.
‘Can you help me out of them, before the stylist comes back?’ he begs.
‘Yeah, hang on, just let us take a photo,’ Taz says, looking around for his phone.
Mikey closes the curtain again.
‘Nicole,’ he calls out from behind it. ‘Will you help me –please?’
My eyes widen with horror.
‘Erm… okay?’ I reply, not sounding all that into the idea.
I step into the small cubicle with Mikey. He smiles at me pathetically.
‘Okay, have you tried wriggling?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, it’s not working,’ he replies.
I hear sniggers from the outside.
‘What if I grab them, and you jump up and down?’ I suggest.
‘Mmm, yeah, grab it,’ I hear Jamie moan in a sex voice.
Mikey grunts as he jumps.
‘My balls,’ he practically cries.
The boys roar.
‘Careful with his balls, Nicole,’ Taz calls out.
It makes what I’m trying to do all the more difficult, having a bunch of comedians behind the curtain.
