Page 181 of I Dreamt That You Loved Me
I didn’tneedGabriel. I was my own person, with my own needs and wants and desires and dreams. I had my art. I had good friends. I had a life I loved and financial independence.
I could live without Gabriel. But I didn’twantto live without him.
With Gabriel, I was the very best version of myself. And that was exactly how my mom had framed it when she said it wasn’t too late for a second chance.
Gabriel filled my life with color and wonder and what’s more, I liked who I was with him.
He made me braver. He inspired me to always reach for my dreams and never settle for less. He just made my life better. Bolder, richer, brighter,more.
Love was a choice. And I would always choose him.
Even if it meant jumping off a cliff without a parachute.
“Will you catch me if I fall?” I asked, just as if he’d been privy to my inner monologue.
“Orhow about this,” he said. “I’ll give you the wings to fly.”
And you know what? That was infinitely better.
Love wasn’t so much aboutnotletting each other down, but rather lifting each other up.
Gabriel slung his arm around my shoulders, and we walked through the garden at dusk.
The fireflies were out, and the air was scented with sea salt and hope when he kissed me on the patio.
It was the perfect night for falling in love all over again.
CHAPTER SEVENTY
Gabriel
On Thursday morning,I had ten songs for the album, hadn’t slept in twenty-four hours, and fell asleep as soon as the needle pierced my skin.
I woke up two hours later in the tattooist’s chair and gave her an extra big tip for the work and for the uninterrupted nap.
Not a single cloud on the horizon as I left the jeweler in East Hampton.
What a day to be alive.
I strode through the front door, calling Cleo’s name.
“Hey. Everything okay?” she said when I found her in the laundry room taking clothes out of the dryer.
I pulled her into my arms and buried my face in her hair. She smelled like orange blossoms and sunshine.
“I love you,” I said, trying to make up for lost time and all the times I should have said it but didn’t. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Cleo pulled back to look at my face. She placed her palm on my cheekbone. “I love you. So much. I’ve never stopped.”
My eyes drifted shut and I leaned into her touch like I was starved for it. This was the first time she’d said the words.
Was there a better feeling in the world than telling someone you loved them and having them say it back?
No. There was not.
“Say it again,” I said, bringing her hand to my mouth and kissing the inside of her wrist.
“I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” she said, showering me with kisses.
