Page 124 of When the Stars Rise
A little while later, Bastian makes his grand entrance wheeling an enormous piano-shaped cake onto the terrace.
We all clap and cheer when Jules’ boyfriend Roman pops out of the cake. Bastian tells everyone that he had him flown in for the occasion as a surprise for Julian. The look on Julian’s face is priceless. Shock and awe and wonder.
I get a little misty-eyed watching them reunite after a few weeks apart.
Love is such a beautiful thing.
We all get drunk and eat cake and before I know it, the party is winding down and it’s time to say goodbye to Jules.
He’s moving to New York City to live with Roman and pursue his dreams and I’m so happy for him that I’m an emotional mess.
But then again, that’s nothing new. I’ve been a mess for a long time.
I hug him a little too tight and hold on a little too long before I finally let go and slide into the back seat of the SUV idling in front of Bastian’s house.
On the car ride home, I make a rash decision. I call my two in the morning person, but it goes straight to voicemail. Which is for the best, really.
I’m vaguely conscious that I’ll probably regret this tomorrow, but drunk Hayley thinks leaving a message is a brilliant idea.
“Hey. It’s me.” I stare at the fabled Château on the hill as we drive down Sunset Boulevard at the loneliest hour of the night.
“You said I never fought for you. For us. And that’s just not true.” I shake my head, recalling all the times I tried to be there for him.
“You made it sound like you carried our entire relationship on your back. I fought for us, Noah. I fought for you. I tried to be there for you in the eleventh grade, butyouwere the one pushing me away. You were always drunk or high and I’d coveryou with a blanket when you slept on my floor, and I would lay next to you when you were passed out and hold you. I was broken but so were you and I didn’t know how to reach you. But I tried, Noah. I never gave up on you.”
I swallow hard as a deluge of memories washes over me.
Noah at seventeen riding hell for leather across the field and getting thrown from a wild horse that never wanted a rider on its back. He knew he wasn’t supposed to ride that horse but did it anyway.
Noah drunk on my bedroom floor, mutteringI’m sorryover and over again.
Noah standing outside my bedroom window in the pouring rain, his face tipped up to the sky and the pain etched all over his face when a bolt of lightning illuminated it. He tried so hard to hide it all from me.
But that night watching him from the window of Brody and Shiloh’s house, I knew in my heart, in my very soul, that the boy I’d loved all my life was gone.
The boy I grew up with was so happy and carefree with the kind of charisma that made people gravitate to him. Everyone knew that being around Noah made life so much better. He was the sunshine on a rainy day.
And I didn’t know how to reach this new, angry version of Noah. No one did. Not even his own family.
“I have loved you all my life,” I say, holding my phone to my ear. “You were my best friend. My first love. My favorite everything. You carried my heart in the palm of your hand. Because I gave it to you so many years ago and I never asked for it back. It was yours to keep and I trusted you not to break it. But you did. Over and over and over again.”
My head falls against the leather seat and I’m sad and hurt and angry and drunk but not drunk enough to stop caring. All the alcohol in the world won’t help me forget.
“All I ever wanted was to be with you. To build a life with you. To grow old with you. To wake up with you every morning and kiss you good night until the end of time. And I just never understood why you didn’t want the same thing. You said you did but your actions lead me to believe that it was yet another lie.”
My hand goes to my heart, and I’m surprised to find it’s still beating. I guess you can’t really die from a broken heart after all. It just feels like it.
“Where did all the love go, Noah? When did it get so hard to be honest with each other? And why couldn’t you love me enough to hold on tight and never let go?”
My eyes drift shut and my phone slips out of my hand, and I don’t care about anything.
Because Noah is gone.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Hayley
“I thinkthere’s something you should know,” Everly says when I set a tray of drinks and snacks on the round table next to her lounger. My friend looks like a blonde goddess in a white bikini and tortoiseshell sunglasses. Her skin is golden-bronzed, legs enviably long and she’s even more beautiful in real life than on the cover of magazines.
