Page 119 of When the Stars Rise

Page List

Font Size:

He shoots me a look like I’m missing the point again. “Of course she was. I’m just telling you how I felt that summer. I was working at some crap job at a fast-food joint and wishing I was anywhere but the boring town I grew up in.”

I’m still not sure that justifies cheating. He chose to stay. Not like she held a gun to his head.

But I drop it because she obviously wasn’t the love of his life. “So, how did Liam’s tour go?”

“It was a fucking disaster,” Aiden says with a laugh. “The van kept breaking down. They barely had any people at their shows. They were broke and sleeping in a van, and everyone hated each other by the end. But Liam said he wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. When he got back, we moved to LA, did session work, and took any jobs we could to make ends meet. But we didn’t give a shit that we were living in a dump and could barely pay our rent and utilities because we had our music, you know?” He rolls his head on the sofa to look at me. “And then we met you and we were golden.”

We smile at the memory.

The first time I met Aiden, he and Liam were auditioning to play backup on my first studio album, and I knew within the first five minutes of meeting them that I not only wanted them in my band but that we were going to be friends.

Aiden handed me a stack of five beaded friendship bracelets. The first one said: Music is my life. The second one said: I’m a brilliant drummer. The third: Drumming: the *heart emoji*beat of music. The fourth: Drumming my way into your *heart emoji*. The fifth: BFFs 4 ever.

It was cute and adorable, and he backed up his claims by being a brilliant drummer and a good friend.

That’s why I fought to keep Aiden on the tour. Sometimes, he does stupid things and thinks with the wrong head, but music is his passion, and he always shows up and gives it his best no matter what’s going on in his personal life.

I don’t want to replace him with another drummer. Not only because he’s good, which he is, but because of how we all mesh and because he’s been a good friend for four years. He’s been by my side through all the ups and downs. He makes me laugh, gives me a shoulder to cry on, and whenever I’ve confided in him, he’s kept it to himself. He’s never sold me out, never tried to leverage our friendship for his own personal gain, and thatmight not sound like a big deal but in an industry where I’m never sure who to trust, it’s a big deal.

Scott, my former bass player, spread rumors about me and leaked personal information to the tabloids. Aiden was the one who figured out it was him and confronted him about it so we replaced Scott midway through the tour. Stuff like that happens a lot more than it should where people pretend to be friends but then turn around and use you or sell you out. So when you find people who’ve earned your trust, you keep them close and you fight for them.

“What I’m saying,” Aiden continues, “is that if Noah gives up what he loves for you, he might be cool with it for a while, but eventually he’ll resent you for it.”

Ugh, we’re back to this again? I don’t want to talk about Noah. “We’re over so there’s no point in talking about it.”

“I just have one more thing to say, and then I’ll drop it.”

I sigh.

“I know you’re scared. I know that accident fucked with your head. And I get that. I do. I’m not saying you shouldn’t worry about him. I’m not saying that it’s not messy and complicated. But fuck it. Everyone can see that you belong together.”

I don’t know why he’s fighting so hard for Noah.

“Most people will search a lifetime and never find that kind of love. Hell, we’re all searching for that one person who makes our life better and puts up with all our bullshit and loves us not only at our best but at our worst, too.”

He pushes both hands through his dark hair and blows out a frustrated breath. You would think by the way he’s talking that he has some skin in the game. “Do you know how fucking rare that is? To have someone who supports and builds you up and isn’t intimidated by your fame? Those guys don’t come along every day.”

I open my mouth to speak, but Aiden is on a roll, so I can’t get a word in.

“Asher wanted everything you had. He stepped all over you to get himself where he wanted to be. That other asshole you were dating for about two minutes? The actor…”

“Penn Shipley?” I kind of forgot about him. He was an up-and-coming actor at the time. About six weeks after we met, he got his big break, left to film a movie, and fell in love with his co-star. Now he’s one of Hollywood’s hottest stars.

“Yeah. Penn Shipley,” Aiden says with a nod. “He was withHayley Saint James. He didn’t even fucking know you. But with Noah, you can just be you. He’s not using you to advance his career. He just loves you.”

He just loves you.As if it’s that easy.“Not loving each other has never been our problem. But if he really loved me, he wouldn’t have lied to me.” I stand up from my seat because I’m done with this conversation. Not to mention that Aiden’s got it all wrong. “And what’s more, you can’t compare music to extreme sports. Music has never killed anyone.”

“Technically, that’s not true,” Aiden says as I rinse out my mug in the sink and stow it in the dishwasher. “Kurt Cobain. Jimi Hendrix. Jim Morrison…”

He’s still reeling off the names of dead musicians as I walk away.

Music didn’t kill them. Drugs did.

I dive onto my bed and bury my face in the pillow. Sad, lovesick fool that I am, I’m still trying to detect Noah’s scent on the sheets, but it just smells like laundry detergent now and even that feels like a huge loss.

Why are relationships so complicated?

I roll onto my back and dim the lights, staring at the ceiling while Phoebe Bridger sings ‘Savior Complex.’