Page 129 of When the Stars Rise
I know Everly is only trying to help but she’s got it all wrong. But since I don’t have any of the answers, I drink my beer and say nothing.
Sabotage, my ass.
“Hayley knows about Zeke. I told her the truth…”
My gaze snaps to her face. “What?”
Everly’s eyes lower to her drink—the vodka and grapefruit I bought her when she arrived. The ice has melted, and I don’t even think she’s had more than a sip. “I told her it wasn’t an accident.”
I’m not sure what to say about that. I stare at the ring on her finger that Zeke put there. Had it especially designed for her when we were in Peru.
We mostly goofed around on that trip. Went quad biking in the Andes. Sandboarded on the dunes in the desert. Did some whitewater rafting down Class IV rapids. It was a good time.
But he was so obsessed with making sure that ring was perfect that we missed our flight home and had to wait until the next day to catch another one.
He said that if you’re going to buy silver and turquoise it had to be Peruvian, and if you’re going to have a ring made for the girl you love you sure as hell can’t half-ass it. He wore it on his pinkie finger on the flight home and when I questioned him, he said, “Just making sure our souls will be joined.”
It made no sense. How could wearing a ring you’re going to give someone ensure that your souls would be joined? But Zeke was superstitious, and he had a lot of whacky theories about souls and soulmates.
Maybe it was yet another clue that I’d missed. Maybe I should have paid more attention to some of the things he said. He believed that if you find your soulmate in this life, you’ll find them again in the next but you’d be in a better place so it would be a thousand times better.
You’re such a stupid shit, Zeke.Nothingis better without you.
“So you’re telling people now?” I ask Everly. It comes out sounding harsher than I’d intended and she bristles.
“Only people close to me. I told Isla because we tell each other everything and I talked about it with my parents. And the other day I told Hayley. It helps to talk about it.”
I’m not so sure that’s true but if it helps Everly then that’s her choice. My gaze darts to the front door. Feels a bit stuffy in here. I could use some air, but I don’t want to leave Everly on her own, so I cast around for a diversion. “So are you seeing anyone?”
“No one special. I’m not ready to be in another serious relationship.”
I nod. Makes sense. If I lost Hayley… I can’t even imagine a future without her in it. I have loved that girl all my life. She was it for me. My reason. My end game. And now what? I’m supposed to find a way to live without her?
I’ve listened to the voicemail she sent at least a dozen times. Picked up my phone to call her at least a hundred. But what would be the point? Not like there’s anything left to say that would sway her.
Is Everly right? Did I really sabotage our relationship? Not on purpose.
“You still love her,” Everly says as if it’s a new revelation.
I laugh under my breath. “I’ll love her until the day I die.” That’s just a fact. I willalwayslove Hayley. “But we’re not meant to be.” Another sad fact that I’m still trying, and failing, to accept.
“I think you both need to sit down and talk.” I open my mouth to protest. “Really talk. When’s the last time you talked honestly and openly? You have to put it all out on the table and figure this shit out. You’re miserable and so is she. I don’t see either of you moving on anytime soon.”
It’s off topic and I probably shouldn’t ask but I can’t help myself. I really want to know. “What did she say when you told her about Zeke?”
Everly is quiet for a moment, her finger circling the rim of her glass. “It’s not so much what she said. It’s what she didn’t say. I think she’s hurt that you never told her the truth.”
“I didn’t tell anyone.”
“I know. But when you’re best friends and you’re in a relationship with them, you expect the other person to confide in you. To put you above all others, you know? It’s not like Hayley would have gone around telling everyone. It would have just been between the two of you. That’s how relationships work. The good ones, anyway.”
“I didn’t want her to have to keep a secret. I didn’t want to burden her with something like that.”Ididn’t even want to be burdened with it so I can’t see what good it would have done to ruin Hayley’s memory of Zeke.
Once you know something like that, it changes your perspective.
Everly points a finger at me. “And that isexactlywhat’s wrong with your relationship. If you can’t share your burdens with the person you love, there’s something very wrong.”
I scoff. “Since when is it a crime to protect the person you love?”
