Page 2 of Until August
“All they need is some good loving. Just like you and me, baby.”
“And you do? You belong here?” I countered.
Over her shoulder, I could see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows to an infinity pool that bled into the Pacific. Prime SoCal real estate. A far cry from our crappy apartment in Los Feliz. But she always said she loved our apartment. And me. She used to love me too.
She lowered her gaze. “I have a new life now.”
“I can see that.” I didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in my tone. “How long did it take to forget about me and move on? Four years? Three? Or maybe you didn’t wait at all. Maybe you were fucking rich assholes behind my back the whole time. What did you do, Sasha? Spread your legs for the highest bidder?”
“Fuck you. I never cheated on you. You.” She stabbed her finger at my chest. “You did this to us. You ruined us. So you don’t get to show up at my door and talk to me like that.” She gave me a shove and tried to close the door on me, but I slammed my palm against the wood to stop it from closing.
“Wait. I just…” I exhaled loudly, desperation bleeding into every word. “I need to see him.”
“You need to go,” she gritted. “I’m not going to let you come back into his life and screw things up. He’s happy, and so am I. So just leave us alone.”
“He’s my son.” My voice sounded strangled. “I have every right to spend time with him.”
“You gave up your rights five years ago.”
I gritted my teeth to rein in my temper. Arguing wouldn’t get me anywhere. I needed to know how my son was doing. “How is he? Is he okay? Is he healthy?”
She hesitated a moment. “He’s good. He’s… doing great.” Relief flooded my body, and I opened my mouth to ask her for more information, but she wasn’t done talking yet. “Travis treats him like his own, and Sage looks up to him. He’s Sage’s hero.”
The words cut so deep that I could barely breathe. A vise wrapped around my heart and squeezed. I rubbed my chest as if it would ease the ache. It did not.
I knew who he was. Travis Fucking Jones. Six-time world champion surfer, entrepreneur, and environmental activist.
My son’s hero.
“So please…” Her baby blues pleaded with me. “If you ever loved me, just leave us alone.”
There was a time I would have done anything in the world for her—and for Sage—but this was the one thing I couldn’t do. I’d lost Sasha and had to come to terms with it over the past few years. But Sage was still my son, and nothing would ever change that. “I can’t do that. You should know better than to ask.”
“You’ve been gone a long time. Things change. We’ve moved on.”
“Well, that’s great, Sasha. I’m fucking thrilled for you. ButIhaven’tmoved on.” I thumped my fist against my chest. “You can’t just write me off with one Dear John letter and hope I disappear off the face of the earth. You’ve moved on. Good for you. But I’m not here for you. I’m here for my son. And I don’t give a shit about your surfer husband with his fancy fucking house. I’m Sage’s father. Me. Not this shithead who stepped in to play dad.” I turned her words back on her and speared her with a look. “If you ever loved me, you’d let me seemy son.”
“You’ve made your choices. All thewrongones.” She sucked in a breath and let it out. “And I willneverforgive you for what you did to us.Never.”
“I did it for you and Sage,” I said between clenched teeth. Even five years later, I stubbornly clung to that belief. It was the only way I could justify my actions. Everything I did was for them.
But unfortunately, I’d gone about it in the wrong way.
“You didn’t do it for us. You did it for the money. You did it so you wouldn’t lose your precious restaurant. And your stupid male pride… you could have borrowed the money. You could have found another way. You didn’t have to do that. We were doing just fine.”
I huffed out a laugh. If Sasha thought we’d been doing fine, she was delusional. “We weren’t fine. Not by a long shot. But you were always good at turning a blind eye to the bills and the mountain of debt, weren’t you? Did you think a fairy godmother would wave her magic wand and poof, all the bills would disappear? That’s not how it works in the real world, baby.” Her eyes filled with tears. I fought my instinct to brush them away and jammed my hands in my pockets, softening my tone. “I was trying to protect you.”
“And look how that turned out,” she yelled. She shook her head. “You have to go. I can’t… I can’t do this right now.” Her hand lowered to her belly, and she rubbed in a circular motion. It was the same thing she always did when pregnant with Sage.
I stared at her stomach, just now noticing the small bump under the thin cotton.
I took a step back, my eyes darting from her stomach to her face as the realization dawned on me. “You’re pregnant?”
She bit her lip, not meeting my eye. “Four months.”
Talk about a sucker punch to the gut. I grabbed the back of my neck and looked up at the gray sky. Not only had Sasha moved on, but she was starting a new family with another man.
“Please. Just go.”
