Page 143 of Until August
I shrugged. “Pretty much.”
“I can’t,” she whispered.
There was so much sorrow and pain on her face that it sliced right through me. And I knew. On top of everything else she had to deal with, she couldn’t shoulder the burden of knowing I’d be waiting for her.
“If we’d met under different circumstances, if I was free to love you the way you deserve, wild horses wouldn’t drag me away,” she said. “I would never leave you, August Harper. You’d be stuck with me.”
Tears poured down her cheeks, and it damn near broke my fucking heart.
I pulled her into my arms and held her.
“I never used to cry this much,” she said, her voice muffled as her tears soaked the cotton of yet another of my t-shirts.
“A few tears don’t scare me.”
“Tough guy, huh?”
“You know it, baby.”
She pulled back, and I brushed her tears away with the pads of my thumbs.
“We met in an impossible place,” she said, grabbing my face in both hands. “And I need you to… I just need to know that you’ll be okay.”
What was the definition of okay?
I took a few deep breaths. It was my job to make this easier for Nicola instead of harder.
If the circumstances were different, I’d argue with her. Tell her that I wasn’t going to desert her. That she didn’t have to do this alone. I’d be there for her every step of the way.
But when you love someone, you have to know when it’s time to fight for them and when it’s time to set them free.
When you love someone, you have to find it in your heart to do what is best for them. To be the bigger man.
Even when it hurt.
Especially when it hurt.
So I held her, stroking her hair, and she rested her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a few long moments, and even though she wasn’t gone yet, my life already felt so much emptier without her.
She pulled away and pressed her palm against my heart. “I’m sorry for messing up everything and dragging you into my screwed-up life… God, how could I do this to you?”
“Hey.” I grasped her chin, forcing her to meet my eyes. “I’m a big boy, and there were two of us in this relationship. I’ll be fine. You just look after yourself, and don’t worry about me.”
“You see? You make it so impossible.” She fisted my t-shirt like she never wanted to let me go. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you. You’re a good man, August Harper. The best of the best.”
“It’s been my privilege loving you, Honey Bun.”
“Oh, God.” Her voice cracked. “You’re going to make me cry again.”
I turned her around and gave her a little nudge. “Go. I’ll take care of the restaurant.”
She hesitated, but then she nodded, and I watched her walk away.
When she was gone, I turned to face the ocean and took deep breaths.
