Page 135 of When Wrecked Meets Ruined
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. How does it feel to be ten feet tall?”
“When I jump up and catch that ball, there’s this moment when I feel like a god. When I’m head and shoulders above the rest of the players with the ball in my hands, and then my cleats hit the ground, and I’m running and dodging and blocking, and I’m so pumped up on adrenaline that I feel invincible. But when you get tackled in the NFL the next morning, it feels like you’ve been hit by a fucking Mack truck and run over two or three times for good measure. It takes me the whole week to recover,” he said with a laugh. “Just in time to go out and do it again.”
I smiled. “But do you love it?”
“Yeah, I do. I love playing. I love the crowd and the fans. I could live without the politics and all the bullshit that goes with being a part of a huge money-making machine. But I’m not gonna cry about it. It’s a job, and I know I’m damn lucky to be in it. At the end of the day, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing.”
He sat back when the server came to clear our plates and asked if we wanted dessert. Ridge and I said no, and he asked for the check.
“Let’s hit up a bar,” he said after paying.
The last time we did that, it didn’t turn out so great. But I nodded because I wasn’t ready for our night to be over yet.
We took an Uber to a bar in West Hollywood. And all I kept thinking was that Ridge was so close yet still so far away.
He had a whole life I knew nothing about. Because why would I? I’d left him as if he never meant anything to me. When really, he had meant everything.
“I guess you’ve had a lot of girlfriends?” I blurted. It sounded more like a statement than a question, and I wished I could take it back.
“Not sure I’d call them girlfriends, but yeah, I’ve had my fair share.”
“Your fair share? What does that mean?” I tried to keep my tone light but failed.
“What do you want me to say, Evie? You want me to tell you I’ve been a monk? You left me. You broke my fucking heart. What did you expect me to do? Sit around and wait for you?”
“No, of course not. I never meant to break your heart.”
“Yeah, well, shit happens.”
“If it’s any consolation, I broke my own heart too.”
Ridge sighed. “What am I going to do with you, Cherry?”
Love me.Take me back and never let me go.
But I couldn’t ask him for that. I broke his heart. I left him without a single message or a phone call to see how he was.
So, I had no right to ask him for anything.
I used to think Ridge and I were on an even playing field, but now I felt like he had the advantage. Spurned lover.
And I hated that. I really did.
CHAPTERFORTY-NINE
Ridge
We wentto LA’s idea of a dive bar. It looked like a three-story apartment building with a double garage. Inside, it had black walls, distressed wood floors, and crystal chandeliers that looked like spaceships.
The crowd was artsy, and the jams were soul and funk. We snagged seats at the zinc-topped bar, and the too-cool bartender took our order. Beer for me and a mojito for Evie. She said she’d never had one but had always wanted to try it.
Tonight, she looked like a femme fatale from a classic black and white movie. A goddess that shined brighter than a Hollywood star.
After Evie left me, I went through all the stages of grief. Angry. Sad. Depressed. Worried. I blamed myself for everything that happened that night.
Jude told me to give her time and space. Like she’d given me a fucking choice. She’d cut me out of her life so completely that there had been times when I wondered if I’d dreamed the whole thing up.
What I’d learned from Evie was that love hurts like a motherfucker.
