Page 97 of When We Were Reckless
After a few hours of sleep, I woke up to more rain and a knock on the front door.
I pulled on my jeans and ran my hands through my hair as I walked out of the bedroom. The duffel bags were gone, and so was Ridge. I jogged down the stairs and opened the front door to Shiloh, who gave me a big smile.
“I brought breakfast.” She held up two shopping bags, and I stepped aside to let her in.
“I brought eggs and stuff for breakfast smoothies.” She unpacked her bags in the small kitchen and set everything on the counter. “Sound good?”
“Sounds perfect. Need some help?”
“You can peel the apples.” She set two green apples, a peeler, and a knife on the chopping board in front of me.
I peeled and chopped while she washed the vegetables.
“How have you been, Jesse?”
I’d seen her almost every Sunday at my parents’ house, but we’d never spoken privately, and even though her tone was casual, the question sounded loaded. “It’s all good.”
She side-eyed me as she added kale and ginger to the blender. “You seem a lot happier than you did in April.”
“So do you. Good to see you smiling again.” Using the back of my knife, I slid the chunks of apple off the cutting board and into the blender.
“Love does that to a person.” She set two bananas on the board. “Sometimes, Brody drives me nuts. But he’s a good man. The best I’ve ever known.”
“You must have some pretty low standards,” I teased, peeling and slicing the bananas.
She laughed and shoulder-bumped me. Her laughter faded. “Before Brody, I was in a really toxic relationship.” She added blueberries, a squeeze of lemon, and the banana to the blender and whizzed it all together. “So I know the difference between good love and bad love.”
I searched the cupboards and found mason jars but no glasses. “That’s what Brody and Ridge use instead of glasses,” Shiloh said with a shake of her head.
“Typical rednecks,” I joked.
“I know, right?” She set a frying pan on the stove and whisked the eggs in a bowl while I poured our smoothies and toasted the multi-grain bread. “Brody would be complaining that there’s no bacon, and the bread tastes like birdseed.”
I laughed at her observation. Brody’s idea of a well-balanced meal was a juicy T-Bone steak with a shot of whiskey and a beer chaser.
A few minutes later, we set our food on the breakfast bar and sat across from each other. We made small talk while we ate our breakfast, but I could tell she had something on her mind and had come over here on a mission. The women in my family—my mom, Lila, and now Shiloh—took it upon themselves to share their wisdom and advice, whether we asked for it or not.
Sure enough, as soon as we finished eating, she broached the topic I suspected was her reason for bringing breakfast.
“So I guess what I was getting at earlier….” I took a sip of my smoothie and eyed her over the rim of the mason jar. She pushed her plate away and leaned her forearms on the counter, her gray eyes on mine. “Okay, I’ll just come out with it. When you and Alessia came to my concert and hung out afterward, I noticed a few things. It’s probably not my place to say anything. I don’t really know her and spending a couple hours with her probably doesn’t give me room to judge, but….” She chewed on her lower lip.
I finished the smoothie and set down the mason jar; my curiosity piqued. “What did you see?”
“I saw enough to know that you can do better. You deserve better. Maybe I’m projecting. Maybe I’m thinking about my own experience with someone I loved who was emotionally abusive, but it’s made me hyper-aware when I see it happen to other people.”
My gaze wandered to the French doors. The rain was still coming down hard and heavy, the spring-fed lake barely visible through the line of trees. Talking about my relationship with Alessia wasn’t high on my list of fun things to do, but I found myself wanting to talk about it for some reason. Or at least, I was open to listening.
I dragged my gaze back to Shiloh. “What are you saying, exactly?”
“She seemed like the kind of person who took joy in putting you down rather than lifting you up. It was almost like…” She squinted into the distance, trying to find the right words. “Like she was happy that you were having a bad season. And I felt like you had to work so hard to keep her happy.”
Shiloh wasn’t the first person to tell me this, but it was the first time I’d actually listened. Earlier on in my relationship with Alessia, my mom had made a few comments. I’d gotten pissed and told her to kindly keep her opinions to herself. Unless she had something good to say, I’d prefer that she said nothing at all. Which was probably why my mother had rarely spoken about Alessia.
It made me feel weak to think that I’d let myself be treated like that. Had done everything I could to make Alessia happy, only for her to throw that love back in my face. And even worse, I’d gone back for more.
“I was an idiot to get involved with her.” The shame must have been written all over my face.
Shiloh reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze before she released it. “You’re not an idiot. You’re amazing, Jesse. And she saw that. She saw the light in you, and she wanted to bask in the glow. She saw the good in you, and she fell in love with everything you are. Because how couldn’t she? But she was jealous. So she tried to bring you down to her level.” Shiloh sounded like she was talking about her own situation as much as mine. “I used to think there was something wrong with me. Like, why wasn’t I enough? What did those other girls have that I didn’t?”
