Page 92 of When We Were Reckless
I pulled into the garage and cut the engine, relief flooding my body. I’d made it home in one piece.Jesse.
With shaky hands, I pulled my phone out of my bag and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the jitters. I fumbled with my phone and snatched it up from the footwell.
Pull yourself together, Quinn.
I finally managed to press the speed dial. The call rang out and went to voice mail. A few minutes later, I tried again, and once again, it went to voice mail. He should have been home by now.
Why wasn’t he answering his phone? My mind raced, my brain conjuring up a vision of Jesse on the side of the road, his bike mangled and twisted, his body trapped under the steel frame.
If anything happened to Jesse, I would lose my fucking mind.
Get your shit together, Quinn. Stop thinking of worst-case scenarios.
Sometimes an overactive imagination was a curse.
My car felt too small and suffocating, so I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and went inside. I was hoping to escape to my room.
“Oh good, you’re home,” Mom said from the kitchen, relief filling her voice as I walked through the laundry room. She was sitting at the island with a glass of wine and her laptop open in front of her. “I was worried about you.” She studied my face as I paused in the doorway. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
I was tempted to flee. To run up the stairs to the privacy of my bedroom. But the concern in her voice prompted me to tuck my phone in my bag and set it on the counter. I pulled up a stool across from her and wedged my shaky hands under my thighs, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. All good.” No sense in getting her worried for no reason. My thoughts returned to the conversation I’d overheard earlier. “Did you know Mason was trying to keep me in Texas?”
She sighed and closed her laptop screen. “Your brothers are worried about you being in California on your own.”
“Allmy brothers?” I knew Declan wasn’t worried about me. When we’d talked about my housing assignment in the family group chat, Holden and Mason had expressed their concern. Declan’s response?
It’s fucking California, not a combat zone. Good riddance, Bean.
“Two of them. And your father,” she added.
I snorted. “Like he gets a vote.”
“Your father and I may not agree on everything, and there have been a lot of changes over the past few years, but one thing will never change. He loves you. He loves all four of you. But you’re his special girl. Our little miracle.”
“Declan always called me an accident.”
Mom laughed, but she didn’t even try to deny it. “You were the very best kind of accident.”
“So Iwasan accident?”
“After Declan, I didn’t think I could have more kids. So that’s why we always called you our miracle. You were wanted. And you were loved even before you were born. Don’t ever doubt that.”
I brushed away a few tears. This night had turned me into an emotional wreck. “Do you…” I chewed on my lip, not sure if I had the right to ask this question or if it was even any of my business. But I was curious, so I asked anyway. “Do you still love Dad?”
My mom took a sip of wine and set down her glass, twirling the stem between her fingers. She didn’t answer right away, and I could tell she was thinking about her response, searching for the right words, so I waited. “Your dad was my first love. My only love,” she said with a soft laugh. “You never really forget your first love, and I’m not sure you ever get over it either. But you do move on. And you can find another love. Just as good, maybe even better, but different.”
She hadn’t really answered my question, but I let it go and didn’t push for more. Maybe that was the answer. She still loved him, but it was time to move on. My father was getting married again, and whether she liked it or not, my mom had to find a way to come to terms with it.
While I pondered that, the door from the garage opened, and Declan strode into the kitchen, running his hand through his wet hair. He’d left after me, so he would have gotten caught in the rain on the way to his car. Which, once again, reminded me that Jesse was riding in the rain.
He hadn’t called me back yet. Maybe he was still annoyed with me about Walker, so he wasn’t answering my calls or returning them. Would he do that?
“How is it out there?” I asked Declan.
“Wet.” I rolled my eyes. Such a smartass. “Some of the roads are already flooding.”
