Page 80 of When We Were Reckless
A few tears slid down my cheeks.
Tears of joy mingled with all these overwhelming emotions.
Because I’d given him my virginity. The guy I’d been in love with all my life.
Nobody had ever warned me how intimate it was to let someone inside your body. To be joined so closely. Our hearts beating in sync.
He lifted his head and pushed himself up on one arm, so it bore his weight. When he pulled out of me, I nearly cried. I felt so empty now. So bereft.
He stood up from the bed and removed the condom that had traces of my blood on it. “Be right back.”
Wordlessly, I nodded.
When he walked into the bathroom adjoining his bedroom, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to keep the tears at bay.
I heard the water running in the bathroom, and a few seconds later, he returned with a towel in his hand. Then he proceeded to wash away any traces of blood, being so sweet and gentle with me that I really did start crying this time.
“Shh. It’s okay.” He tossed the towel on the floor and climbed on the bed next to me, then pulled me against him and kissed the side of my neck. “It won’t always hurt so much.” He was talking about the physical pain, but that wasn’t why I was crying.
He stroked my hair and peppered me with soft kisses, our naked bodies fitting into the curve of each other’s, and it made my heart ache for reasons I couldn’t fully grasp.
I’d promised myself I would live in the moment, but all I could think about was the future.
How would I ever say goodbye?
* * *
I crept up the stairs on my bare feet, trying to be as quiet as possible as I passed Declan’s bedroom door. Almost there.
“Where the hell have you been?”
I jumped at the sound of his voice. Great. Perfect. Just what I needed.
Keeping my back to him, I pushed open my bedroom door. “I stayed at Evie’s last night.”
With that, I closed my door, changed into shorts and a tank top, and threw myself on my bed. It was still early, too early to start my day, and I just wanted to hang out on my bed and relive every moment of last night.
After he’d cleaned me up and kissed away my tears, he’d held me, and we’d talked for hours about everything and nothing. I’d made him promise that this would stay between us. In other words, I didn’t want my brothers to know.
“You want me to lie to my best friend?”
“You don’t have to lie. Just don’t say anything. They don’t need to know every detail of my life. This is none of their business.”
Later, when I was still too sore to have sex again, he gave me an orgasm with his tongue, and we fell asleep on his king-sized bed with charcoal gray sheets that smelled like him, my body tucked into him, and it was all so perfect.
I’d woken up when the sun was rising, giving his bedroom a golden glow, and slipped out before he even noticed I was gone. It was better that way. It made me feel like I was in control of this situation. Like maybe I could always leave him wanting more instead of feeling like I’d overstayed my welcome.
My door burst open, and Declan strode into my bedroom.
I jackknifed off my bed and scooted back until I was leaning against my headboard. He was wearing boxers and nothing else. I’d forgotten what it was like to live with my brothers. At least he wasn’t naked.
“You can’t just walk into my bedroom like that.”
He stood over me, glowering, arms crossed over his tattooed chest. “You never stay at Evie’s.”
“Well, last night I did.”
“You’re a shitty liar.”
