Page 5 of When We Were Reckless
He squinted as if he was trying to place the face and bring me into focus. He was shirtless and barefoot, sporting only a pair of black athletic shorts.
Jesse had the most beautiful body. He really did. Lean and sculpted, without an ounce of fat. Broad shoulders, narrow waist. I stared at the dips and valleys of his chiseled abs, so well-defined that I could count all six of them. I clasped my hands more tightly and fought the urge to reach out and touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin, the tautness of his muscles under the palm of my hand.
After what felt like forever, I dragged my gaze up to his face. To his summer sky blue eyes and full, sensuous lips. Lips I’d tasted once. They were softer than I’d expected but firm too. Now his face was neutral, devoid of expression.
Jesse roughed his hand through his hair. His messy, disheveled light brown hair that was shorter than it had been at Christmas.
“What are you doing here?” he asked brusquely.
Not exactly the welcome I’d been hoping for, but I was here now, so I had to say something. “I… I couldn’t sleep. So I thought I’d take a drive, and I ended up here.” Lame, Quinn. Super lame. “Can I come in?”
He studied my face for a moment. Then he swung the door open wider and strode across the hardwood floor on his bare feet. I closed the door behind me and moved farther into the room.
He disappeared somewhere, but he’d opened the door for me. He hadn’t asked me to leave, so he must have wanted me here, right?
I walked over to the horseshoe-shaped sofa, butter-soft, caramel-colored leather, and stood behind it, unsure what to do next. The flatscreen TV above the stone fireplace was on, an action movie playing. Empty beer bottles sat on the rustic oak coffee table—a whole row of bottles. I stared at the beer bottles. At the bottle of tequila. Half-empty. There was a pizza box sitting on the coffee table too. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t even question it.
Pizza, beer, and a movie. No big deal.
But this was Jesse, who had always claimed that his body was his temple. He was a vegetarian. He ate healthy, never touched junk food, and he didn’t drink. I mean, I was sure he drank a beer or two sometimes, but this was something different.
My gaze moved around the open-space living area. An oval dining table with six upholstered chairs sat in front of the tall glass windows, affording a view of the river. Framed black and white photos of Alessia Rossi used to hang on the walls. He’d been in some of them too--photos of him doing a double backflip at the Summer X Games a couple of years ago when he won the gold and a few pictures of him racing at the Pala National.
But those photos were gone now.
Ceiling fans hung from the double-height ceiling, an American flag on one of the timber walls. Jesse’s older brother Jude had brought that flag home from Afghanistan, and it was one of Jesse’s most prized possessions.
I turned as Jesse came back into the room, wearing a fitted maroon Rogue T-shirt, the soft cotton molded to the contours of his body.
He was drunk. I hadn’t seen it before, but now I could tell that he was unsteady on his feet.
“Did you… um, have some friends over?” I asked when he plopped down on the sofa and lifted a beer to his perfect lips. I watched him take a pull, his throat bobbing on the swallow, his eyes on the TV that I didn’t think he was watching.
He shook his head no but didn’t say anything. He didn’t tell me to leave, but he didn’t ask me to stay. For a moment, I hovered, not sure what to do.
After a few seconds of internal debate, I took a seat in the corner of the sectional and tucked my legs underneath me.
His gaze swung to me, and I saw that his eyes were glassy. “What are you doing here, Sunshine Girl?”
Sunshine Girl. He used to call me that when I was younger. He used to say that I was his sunshine girl because I had the most brilliant smile that lit up my whole face. He used to say it made him smile just to see me. But now, he wasn’t smiling. Not even a little bit. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”
“Doing just fine.”
But he wasn’t ‘just fine.’ That much was obvious. So I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn’t have asked the question that had been running through my head ever since I’d watched his press conference, ever since I’d heard that Alessia had cheated on him.
“What happened? I don’t understand. Why would you retire? Why would you give up the thing you love most? Your passion. You’re one of the best motocross racers in the country.” All the words came out in a rush, my tongue tripping over itself to get them out before I could stop myself. “And you’re only twenty-seven… and you always said….”
His eyes narrowed on me, the muscle in his jaw ticking. A warning that I was venturing into dangerous territory. “What did I always say?”
I couldn’t say the words. I’d already said too much. But what Jesse had always said was, “If or when I retire, I’ll leave when I’m on top.”
He hadn’t done what he said. Instead, he’d done the opposite. So none of this made sense.
“I just don’t understand.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t understand. You’re just a teenager. You’ve lived a sheltered life. So how could youpossiblyunderstand?”
“Was it because of your injury? Does your back still hurt?”
