Page 24 of When We Were Reckless
What happened to him would have made anyone bitter and angry. And now, even though he’d retired, it looked like he was trying to prove something to himself. He was trying to get back to being the rider he was before, but he couldn’t get in the right headspace, which had to be so frustrating for a guy like Jesse who was used to competing at the highest levels. Not just competing.Winning.
I wasn’t a professional athlete, but even I knew if your mental game wasn’t strong, you’d already lost before you left the starting gate.
“Fuck him.” My voice was hard and cold, my body vibrating with anger. “And fuck her.”
Jesse’s eyes widened, and then a laugh burst out of him. “Holy shit.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I’ve never heard you curse.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “I save special words for special occasions.”
“And you think this is a special occasion?”
“Yes. I also think your ex-girlfriend is a bitch.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head. “Is that right?”
“That’s right. I always did. But I kept it to myself.”
“Why did you keep it to yourself?”
“Because you loved her. And I thought that if you loved her, she had to have some redeeming qualities. Deep down.Reallydeep.”
He laughed softly. “The first time I met her, I thought, ‘This is it. She’s the one for me. I’ve met the girl of my dreams.’”
Jealousy reared its ugly head. Jesse would never think that way about me. I’d never be the girl of his dreams, the only one for him. And I shouldn’t care, and it shouldn’t hurt to hear those words, but when it came to Jesse, I was still a lovesick fool.
Despite giving me no reason to care what he did or what he was going through, I couldn’t stop myself from caring about him.
“Obviously, I know better now,” he said.
Love really does make people blind.
I wondered what had hurt him more. The fact that Alessia had cheated on him or that his teammate had wanted to win so badly that he was willing to do whatever it took to eliminate the competition.
“Good. Then don’t let her fuck with your head anymore.”
He smiled, and it was genuine, just like the old Jesse used to smile. And then he was laughing, and I didn’t know why he was even laughing, but I joined him, and it felt good. Easy. Carefree.
“What are you doing later, Sunshine Girl?”
I considered lying and telling him I was wide open and had no plans. But I didn’t want to lie to him or rearrange my life for him on the off chance he wanted to spend time with me. Besides, I was looking forward to hanging out with Evie and Wren. “Evie is bringing her little sister over. We’re going to take her in the pool. And my mom’s coming home this evening, so we’re doing dinner and a movie.”
“Shit. It’s Sunday, isn’t it?” He grimaced. “I promised I’d be at the family dinner.”
“That should be fun. You’ll get to spend time with your niece and nephews.”
“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “They’re cool.”
“Will Ridge be there?”
His eyes narrowed. “Have you got a thing for my cousin?”
I shrugged. “I thought I’d make my rounds through the football team before I head to Cali,” I teased. “Get a few notches in my bedpost.”
He grabbed my hand and held it over his heart. “Don’t play with my heart.” He was joking, or at least it sounded like he was.
I smacked his chest with my free hand, the memory of how he’d played me on Friday night running through my head. “Stop playing with mine.”
“I’m not.” He released my hand. “I won’t.”
