Page 23 of When We Were Reckless
“Because it’s obvious.”
He squinted at something over my shoulder, then his gaze returned to me and dipped to the sterling silver heart, the charm that looked like a bean, and the medical spiral on a silver chain I always wore around my neck.
I tucked the necklace inside the collar of my T-shirt.
“What happened to you, Jesse?” Instead of answering, he grabbed a water bottle that he’d left on the bleachers and drank his fill, then wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. He chewed on the corner of his lip, and even though I was desperate for information and that’s why I was here, I couldn’t stop staring at his face. The sexy way he was chewing on the corner of his lip while he debated whether he should tell me what was going on with him. He grabbed the back of his neck and studied my face for a moment.
I smiled, hoping it would encourage him to talk.
Finally, he gave me a slight nod as if he’d made up his mind and was ready to share. “Do you know who Nate Hutchins is?”
“Sure. He was your teammate. And your friend.” Although I didn’t know why I used the word friend. They were rivals, and Nate won the Supercross title this year.
And now that he’d mentioned Nate, I was reminded of another side to Jesse. Despite always appearing to be laidback and easy-going, Jesse was highly competitive. Hehatedto lose. Thinking back, that had always been his tragic flaw. He always had to be the best, and nothing less would suffice.
“The team appointed me the leader. That pissed Nate off. He was tired of coming in second. Last summer, we were battling for the championship. He wanted to steal it from me. He wanted to steal fuckingeverythingfrom me.”
“Everything?” I was playing dumb. I had a feeling he was talking about Alessia, but I wasn’t supposed to know that she’d cheated on him.
Was she theeverythinghe was referring to?
“Ever since I was sixteen, I’d been focused on riding, training, and racing. That was the year my dad asked if I was planning to go to college or if I was going to make a career of it. I chose my sport. And luckily, it paid off. On the flip side, I knew that I’d have to make it in motocross because I wouldn’t have a college degree or anything else to fall back on.”
“So it was a lot of pressure.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
I was eager to get to the heart of the story, but I waited for him to continue, stupidly happy that he was confiding in me.
“When you reach the top, everyone expects you to keep winning. Your team. Your fans. Your sponsors. Anything less than number one feels like a failure. And the competition got so fucking intense.” His jaw clenched. “But Nate… he was my biggest competitor, and he was hungry for a win.” He shook his head and laughed harshly. “It was the last race of the season when it all came to a head. I’d just bought a ring. I was planning to propose to Alessia after I won the championship.”
My heart sank. Jesse was going to propose to Alessia. He’d even bought a ring. How had he planned to do it? Would he have gone down on one knee? Would it have been intimate and romantic, or would he have made a grand gesture in front of his fans on national television? I was so stuck on the thought of him proposing that I missed some of what he was saying.
“… and I knew. I fucking knew. She was cheating on me.”
Oh crap. I’d missed something important, but I couldn’t ask him to rewind and repeat his words.
“With Nate? Alessia cheated on you with Nate?”
He nodded.
Oh my God.
How dare she do that to Jesse? He’d been so good to her. He had loved her. I remembered thinking that he would have done anything for her. And I’d been so envious. She’d had something so good, and she took it for granted. No, worse than that. She’d betrayed him.
“And you had no idea?”
“None.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I’m usually good at blocking out all the noise and getting into the right headspace before a race, but that day I just couldn’t focus. I couldn’t get the vision out of my head. Of the two of them together. As soon as the gates dropped, I had only one thing on my mind. To beat Nate Hutchins. And fucking Nate, he cut into my line on the face of a jump.”
Another rider had crashed into him from behind. I watched that race. I had watched him lying on the ground, so still and unmoving, and for a few long moments, I’d feared the worst. I’d barely been breathing. My heart had been in my throat, and I’d been frantic, continually updating social media until I found out he was okay.
“And Alessia, she rode in the ambulance with me, and she was crying. No idea why the fuck she was crying.” He rubbed his hand over his heart like it hurt too much to talk about, even now.
A stab of pain shot straight to my heart at the expression on his face. He was devastated. All these months later and he was still devastated over losing her. I couldn’t even understand how or why he could have loved her, but he had loved her enough to want to marry her. And she’d betrayed him in the worst way possible. Had broken his heart. It had shattered his confidence to the point where he wasn’t the same rider he used to be.
Of all the guys Alessia could have been with, she’d chosen another rider. Not just another rider. Jesse’s nemesis.
Jesse had always put a premium on loyalty. He was loyal to his friends, to his family, to the woman he loved. So this kind of betrayal would have shaken him to the core. And now that I’d heard the story—I didn’t even think it was the whole story—I was starting to understand why he seemed so different.
