Page 135 of When We Were Reckless
I shouldn’t have opened the jar. I shouldn’t have read her wishes. But the temptation had been too great. I was curious, and the jar had been sitting on her bedside table. So I thought I’d just open one and read it. But I ended up reading half a dozen before I heard her outside the door and closed the lid.
Judging by the handwriting, Quinn was a lot younger when she wrote those notes. But she hadn’t changed much. She was still a romantic with a big heart.
She loved daisies and picnics and kissing in the rain. And she loved me. Or, at least, she used to.
I fucked up. I’d been reckless with her heart, and I never should have let her go.
Now I was here to win her back. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late.
“How did you get in here?” she asked. “How did you… do all this?”
Last week, I solicited the help of Holden, my only ally in the Cavanaugh camp. After swearing on my life that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt his sister, he gave me the information I requested—Quinn’s class schedule and her dorm room information. From there, all I had to do was convince someone from her dorm to let me in. Thankfully, I didn’t have too much trouble doing that.
I winked at her. “I have my ways.”
“I bet you do,” she muttered, drawing a laugh from me. The laughter died on my lips when my gaze dipped to the orange cast on her arm. Fuck. It was a physical reminder of the way I’d left her. Broken and hurting. She was wearing the tiny skirt she’d worn the night she was waiting for me on the ramp in my backyard. The night we struck that deal.
“Did it leave a scar?” I asked, referring to her left leg where she’d had the road burn.
She shook her head. “No.”
“I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“Why are you here, Jesse?”
“I have some things I want to tell you. Some things I should have told you a lot sooner. The night it happened… the night you got thrown from my motorcycle… I should have been honest with you. I should have told you how I feel about you. Instead, I questioned you. So we both lied that night.”
She swallowed hard. “You lied?”
“Yeah, I did. I let you think that all I wanted was sex with no strings attached. I kept trying to tell myself that it was all I wanted. But like you said, I lie to myself all the time. I never used to. But I let that whole Alessia thing fuck with my head. Way more than I ever should have.”
“I don’t blame you for that. She didn’t just cheat on you, she lied, and she ruined your career. That’s a lot to deal with.”
“But you made it all better, didn’t you? You worked your magic, and before I even realized it was happening, you’d gotten under my skin. You’re here.” I tapped my temple. “And here.” I held my fist to my heart. “And I can’t get you out. You’re here to stay.”
“You left me, though. You promised you’d stay, but you took off.”
“I thought I was doing the best thing I could for you.”
She laughed harshly. “Wow. Okay. So you took it upon yourself to make a decision on my behalf.” She shook her head. “I don’t need anyone making decisions for me. Bad enough my parents and three brothers think they know what’s best for me. It was the last thing I needed or wanted from you. I can’t deal with these head games, Jesse. I’m trying to get over you. Can’t you understand that? I need to forget you. But you’re making that hard. You can’t just show up and mess with my head all over again. It’s not fair.”
“I’m not here to mess with your head.”
“You walked away from me like I meant nothing to you.”
“You mean everything to me, Quinn. That’swhyI left you.”
She shook her head, disputing my words. “That doesn’t make sense. If I meant everything to you, you would have fought for me. And you didn’t. Youneverdid.”
I winced, the truth of her words hitting me where it hurt. “I’m fighting for you now.” I advanced on her and stopped in front of her, then wiped away her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Because I’ll be traveling so much, and I won’t be around as much as I’d like. I’ve seen what that can do to relationships—”
“I’m not Alessia. I havealwayssupported your dreams.”
“I know that. I know you’re nothing like her. And I just… I want to support your dreams too. I know it’s selfish, but I want to be the one to travel the world with you. I want to be the one cheering you on when you get your diploma. I want to be the one who treats you like the queen that you are.”
“Jesse.” She looked up at me with her big hazel eyes, her lower lip trembling before she clamped it between her teeth. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you, Quinn.” They were the easiest words I’d ever said, and I cursed myself for waiting this long to tell her. “I love you.”
