Page 131 of When We Were Reckless
Ever since I’d gotten released from the hospital, I’d been holed up in my room. My eyes were puffy from crying, my hair was a tangled mess, and Jesse’s T-shirt smelled more like me and less like him, which was enough to make me shed more tears. I’d already cried an ocean for him. I was surprised I had any tears left.
“What good is a king without his queen?” I said, trying to enunciate each word. “We belong together. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I’m never letting you go again. The End.” I watched the words appear on my screen before I saved my work and closed my laptop. Sagging against the pillows behind my back, I covered my eyes with my right arm.
I did it. My story was done.
I’d tried typing one-handed, but my words were coming faster than I could type, so I finished it with voice to text.
Now I was drained. Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.
But at least my fictional couple got their happily ever after.
Despite all the obstacles, Daisy and Ryder were in California, living out their dreams. Because Ryder fought for Daisy. He fought so hard to prove his love.
As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered, what if I had told Jesse the truth? If I’d confessed my love, would it have changed anything?
It was pointless to think about that now. I was done fighting for Jesse.
* * *
One week later, I said goodbye to my brothers and mom, who hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. I didn’t complain, though. We shed a few tears, and then my dad and I boarded a flight to L.A.
Turns out, I didn’t even have to cull my Nike collection. My dad shipped them to his new place in Santa Monica. I had my own room in his house—a three-bedroom Spanish Colonial close to the beach.
It was time to start a new chapter of my life.
My heartache accompanied me everywhere I went, like a dark cloud blocking the sun. But I was determined to live out my California dream.
Without the love of my life.
I hated him. I really, really did.
If only that were true.
Chapter Forty-Five
Jesse
It was my twenty-eighth birthday.Rock music was blasting, flames leaped up below me, and the spotlights were trained on us. It was my first show with the DirtDevilz, at an open-air stadium in San Bernardino, and tonight we were treated like rock stars.
It was a crazy way to make a living. Performing gravity-defying stunts and aerial acrobatics with a two-hundred-pound dirt bike on ramps so high we flew off the lip and soared into the sky.
Supermans, whips, and flips. We did it all for the thousands of spectators who filled the seats and cheered us on. I grabbed the seat of my bike with one hand and did a backflip, landing on the opposite ramp and flying down it with Knox so close behind me, I could feel him breathing down my neck.
It was a hell of a show, an adrenaline rush like no other.
When it was over, we autographed ball caps, T-shirts, and programs in the bowels of the stadium. One kid asked me to sign his moto jersey. He was around eight or nine and reminded me of Noah.
“Thanks,” he said with a big smile when I handed his jersey back. “When I grow up, I wanna be just like you. I wanna do all the same stuff you do.”
I wanted to tell him that he didn’t want to be anything like me, but I knew he was talking about dirt bikes and stunts, not my shitty life choices.
“Work hard, dream big, and never give up. You’ll make your dreams happen.”
He grinned like I’d just given him the key to life. Which I guess I had. You couldn’t make dreams come true without putting in the hard work, and you couldn’t give up when the going got tough.
You couldn’t run away either. But that was exactly what I did four weeks ago. The morning after the motorcycle accident, I showed up at the hospital to visit Quinn. I had her phone and a big-ass bouquet of flowers. Daisies. Dozens and dozens of cheerful yellow and white daisies.
I didn’t even make it past the front desk. Correction. I didn’t make it past Quinn’s parents. They were arguing right outside Quinn’s door. When they saw me headed down the hallway, they stopped arguing and walked over to me, effectively blocking my entrance to Quinn’s room.
