Page 123 of When We Were Reckless
This summer, I’d been with someone who was the opposite of Alessia in every way. Quinn never pretended to be something she wasn’t.
But I don’t think she was completely honest with me either. I think I’d known it since the night she offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse. I don’t think it was what she really wanted, but I’d gone along with it anyway. Why? Because it was whatIhad wanted at the time.
Would it have been better if Quinn and I had gotten together a few years from now? When I wasn’t as fucked up, and she was older and had had a chance to experience more life. Hell yeah. But love doesn’t always wait until it’s convenient.
We’d both be out in California. So why did it have to end? On the contrary, this felt like a new beginning. A fresh start for a new life with someone who had always been special to me.
Despite all the odds stacked against us—the shitty timing, the age difference, the fact that she was Mason’s sister–I’d fallen for Quinn.
Chapter Forty-One
Quinn
Despite my best intentions,I’d spent the past few days torturing myself with visions of Jesse with Alessia. Him comforting her while she cried on his shoulder. Or maybe she’d found a way to remind him how much he had loved her. Maybe he’d decided to give her another chance.
But no, he wouldn’t do that, would he?
I didn’t know. Sex with the ex was a thing, so maybe she came to his hotel room, and they reunited.
In two days, he would be leaving. He would pack up all his clothes and his bikes and drive to California, where he’d just returned from.
But now he was here, waiting for me at the end of my driveway.
I grabbed the helmet and jacket from my car and ducked under the garage door as it was closing. It was almost midnight, and my mom was asleep when I’d crept out, but Declan hadn’t come home yet.
As I rounded the corner at the end of the driveway, I made out the shape of Jesse leaning against his bike. It was dark tonight, the moon a tiny sliver, and he was hidden in the shadows.
As I got closer, my footsteps slowed, and my pulse quickened. My heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to burst through the walls of my chest. It had only been a few days since I last saw him, but it felt longer, and I shouldn’t have missed him so much, but I had.
I stopped in front of him, and I inhaled his scent. It made my head swim.
“Hi,” I tucked my hair behind my ear and gripped the helmet in my other hand.
“Hi,” he said, his voice low and husky. He grabbed my hand and tugged me closer, so I was standing between his legs.
Out of nowhere, an overwhelming sense of loss washed over me. It made me feel hollowed out and empty. It made my heart ache too. It hurt so much that it felt like my heart was being squeezed, and I could barely breathe.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him. The words were on the tip of my tongue, practically bursting to come out, but I swallowed them down. It would be a stupid, stupid thing to do. A fool’s mission to tell someone you loved them without any hope of hearing it back.
I could imagine the words suspended in the air between us, just hanging there like a lead-filled speech bubble before it hit the ground with a heavy thud.
So I was going to do what Evie and I had talked about. I was going to let him go. After our motorcycle ride tonight, I was going to walk away.
“How was San Diego? Was it… are you okay?”
He nodded. “I’m fine.”
Was he, though?
“Okay. Well, that’s good.” I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t say another word.
“Are we going for a ride?” I don’t know why I asked when that had been the plan all along. He’d texted earlier. Just a short text asking if I wanted to go for a ride. But now, he was studying my face so intently that I didn’t know what to think. Even in the darkness, I could feel the intensity of his gaze.
“You never listen, do you?” His hand skimmed down my bare thigh, his rough, calloused palm on my much softer skin, and it sent a warm shiver through my body. “Wearing your tiny shorts and little dresses to ride on the back of my bike.”
Tonight I was wearing a short white dress and my metallic gold Nikes, but unlike the first time I’d worn them, I didn’t feel like I was walking on air.
“I think you like it.”
