Page 119 of When We Were Reckless
He was mine, and she was his. So, where did that leave me?
The bubble had burst, and everything felt different between us. Like he was already pulling away while I was trying to figure out how to let him go.
But at this moment, he was still mine. So when he told me to look up at the stars and make a wish, his voice low and husky, his arms holding me tight like he didn’t want to let me go, I did it.
I wished that he would find a way to let Alessia go and open his heart to someone else. Tome. Even though a little voice inside my head warned me,Love shouldn’t have to be this hard.You shouldn’t have to work so hard to make someone fall in love with you. I ignored that voice.
Because love was a leap of faith, wasn’t it? It was risky to put your heart on the line.
Love could heal you, or it could destroy you.
What was braver, or more foolish, than offering up your heart to someone and saying,Take it. It’s yours. Treat it with care. It’s fragile and breakable.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I knew that because I was that fool.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Quinn
Two days later,I dragged Evie up to the lake. Jesse had flown to San Diego the day before and today was Gina’s funeral. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night I went to see him, and maybe that was for the best.
The sun was so bright as Evie and I stood at the top of the rocks under a big blue Texas sky. It was my idea. An attempt to fulfill a childhood wish. But more than that, even more significant, it was an attempt to get over Jesse. Although I wasn’t sure how jumping off a cliff would help me do that. It was a symbolic gesture, maybe. A leap of faith.
Now I wrung my sweaty hands, my stomach churning as I stared down at the crystal blue water. It looked so impossibly far away. If we didn’t jump out far enough, we might hit the shallows. Or there might be jagged rocks just beneath the surface that would break our bones and rip our skin to shreds.
This didn’t seem like such a great idea anymore. In fact, it was a terrible idea.
“I can’t do it.” I turned to go.
Evie grabbed my arm to stop me. “Yes, you can. We’re doing this.”
My heart was so heavy I had visions of sinking like a stone and never resurfacing. “We could really get hurt. We might hit our heads and sink to the bottom and never come up. We might drown.”
“Not on my watch. Nobody is drowning today.”
As if she had the power to protect us. I looked over the ledge again. My skin felt clammy, and even though the sun was hot, I shivered. “What if we fall?” I whispered.
Evie grabbed my shoulders, her green eyes so fierce, and she gave me a little shake. “Quinn. What if we fly?”
Shock rendered me speechless. My eyes widened, my fears and heartache temporarily forgotten in light of this new development. “Are you… oh my God. Are you becoming an optimist?” I covered my mouth and widened my eyes in mock horror.
“No.” She rolled her eyes. “I said that for you. Now let’s do this. Don’t make me push you.”
“You wouldn’t.” But just to be safe, I moved a few feet away from the edge so she wouldn’t be tempted to give me a shove.
“I wouldn’t do that. But you want to do this. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have dragged my ass up here. So let’s do what we came to do. You need to do this.” She looked down at the water, and I watched her face in profile. Still so beautiful but with a sadness that I hadn’t noticed before. “Maybe we both need this.”
“Are you okay?” I’d been so focused on my own crap and had been spending so much time with Jesse that I hadn’t been the greatest friend. Evie was going through her own crap. But unlike me, she had never been the type to pour her heart out. So, I barely knew any of the details of what was going on with her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’ve been a shitty friend.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re a great friend. Mybestfriend.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I mean… you haven’t really told me what’s going on.”
“You know how it goes in my world. Shit’s always happening. Nothing I can’t deal with, though.” She lifted her chin and hardened her expression like she was steeling herself against whatever the future held. Too often, people mistook Evie as haughty or, worse, a snob. She was neither. But she had a lot of pride. Too much pride to accept help or sympathy.
“You don’t always have to be so tough, Evie,” I said softly.
“And you don’t needhimto make your wishes come true. So let’s do this.”
