Page 90 of When the Storm Breaks
I shrugged one shoulder. It had been four days since I dropped Shiloh off at the airport and walked away from her. Since then, I’d kept myself busy—always plenty of work to be done on a horse ranch, thank fuck—and hadn’t discussed this with anyone. Which was how I wanted it to stay. “Why would I? She’s gone.”
Brody and Austin exchanged a look. Then Austin rubbed his hands together. “Hell yeah. Does this mean my wingman is back in action?”
I snorted. “I’ve never been your wingman.”
“Whatever you say.” His eyes wandered to the other end of the bar. “Check out the two blondes over there. Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you have the first pick.”
I looked over at the blondes. Big boobs and bigger smiles. Had this been a couple months ago, I might have been up for it. But now, neither of these girls did anything for me. I turned my head away and took another pull of my beer. “They’re all yours.”
“Well, shit. This sounds serious. But far be it from me to argue with you.” Jude and I watched Austin swagger over to the two blondes and introduce himself.
“Hello ladies, this must be your lucky day.”
“What a douche,” Jude and I said in unison and then we both shook our heads and laughed.
I finished my beer and set the empty bottle on the bar. “I’m out of here.”
“Me too. I told Lila I was just stopping by for one.”
It was a miracle he could stop at one drink now. Just went to show how far he’d come.
On the way out we said goodbye to Austin. He was holding court, flirting with both girls, and it hit me all over again that this had been my life. Meaningless hook-ups with random girls I’d met in a bar. Now it struck me as so fucking sad.
Jude and I stopped next to my truck which was parked next to his white one. On the side it said Team Phoenix, with the logo for his not-for-profit organization.
“I don’t get it.” He stared me down.
“What don’t you get?”
“You finally found someone you love… who loves you… and you just let her go? Just like that?”
My jaw clenched. “What the fuck else was I supposed to do? She’s in the middle of a world tour. I have no place in her life.”
“Did she tell you this or did you just assume that?”
“She didn’t need to spell out something that was clear as day.”
“You didn’t even discuss it with her, did you?”
“You’re a pain in the ass.” I yanked open my truck door and climbed into the driver seat. He grabbed hold of the door to prevent me from closing it. “Let go of my fucking door.”
“For once in your life, would you listen to me, you stubborn bastard?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and exhaled loudly. “Be quick. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
“Bullshit. You don’t have anywhere you need to be. It’s a Friday night. Ridge is probably hanging out with his friends and Noah is at our house. So you’re going home to an empty house. You know why you thought you were in love with Lila?”
“Fucking hell. Not this again. Move your fucking hand before I smash it with my door.” He released his grip, and I yanked the door shut and turned my key in the ignition. Now he was hanging onto the frame of my open window. I exhaled loudly, communicating my impatience. “Let it go, Jude.”
“You were scared. And you still are. That’s why you clung to this notion that Lila was the girl for you. Because in your heart, you knew damn well she would never be yours. It was safe. You couldn’t get hurt if you never put yourself on the line. If you’d wanted Lila so badly you would have fought for her, the same way you fought for every other thing in your life that truly mattered to you. You’ve always been a fighter. It’s who you are. So why do you think it is that you never fought for Lila?”
“Here we go. You never could resist the urge to play Dr. Phil. Too bad you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
He huffed out a laugh. “I know you. I’ve known you for most of my life. Where do you think I’d be right now if I hadn’t fought for Lila? I’d be a sad, miserable fuck still clinging to my wounded pride and not much else. Is it because you don’t believe you deserve love? Is it because that asshole fucked you up so badly—”
“Don’t fucking say it,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Okay. Okay.” He held up both hands. “Forget I said that. It was out of line. You deserve to be happy. And from what I’ve seen, Shiloh is worth fighting for.”
