Page 117 of When the Storm Breaks
She smiled. “That’s right, Noah.”
“You should tell her you’re sorry for hurting her feelings.”
I wanted to ask who sent him out here to deliver that message. Or had it been his idea? My boy didn’t miss a trick. “Thanks for the advice.”
He tilted his head and studied my face. “Are you gonna do as I say?”
“I’m the dad. You’re the kid. So you do as I say, not the other way around.” He frowned, not appreciating that I’d pointed it out.
“You’re not allowed to fight on Christmas. It’s a family rule.”
“We’re not fighting. We’re just talking,” Shiloh said. “Would it be okay with you if we had a few minutes alone to talk some more?”
He considered her question for a minute as if it was up to him. “I guess so. But don’t take too long.”
I waited until he was out of earshot before I returned my gaze to Shiloh. This morning I’d given her the filly, Phoenix. And now she’d given me two hundred and twenty acres of land. How could I ever compete with that?
“It’s not a competition, Brody. I wasn’t trying to flash my money around. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I want you to have this so badly.”
“Stop reading my mind.”
She shrugged one shoulder, her lips tugging into a small smile. “I can’t help it. I’m so attuned to you and your moods and this big heart of yours.” She placed her hand on my chest. “Look at this way. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for all those horses that need a good home. And for the veterans with PTSD. And anyone who is lucky enough to see the work you do. Don’t let your stubborn pride get in the way of all the good you can do.”
With that, she walked away and left me standing in the hallway, trying to figure out how I should feel about this. Goddamn this woman. She’d already changed me so much, had me doing and saying things I’d never in a million years expected I’d be doing and saying.
Voices and laughter came from the family room and even among my loud, rowdy family, her voice and her laugh were all I heard. I walked out the front door and stood on the porch, taking deep breaths of frosty air. Christmas lights framed all the windows and Santa’s sleigh and reindeer were parked in the front yard.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I was still standing on the front porch, the cold seeping into my bones, hands in my pockets when the front door opened and closed. Kate came to stand next to me. She was wearing a red and green Christmas sweater and a beaded Jingle ball necklace Noah had made her at school. She’d always made a big deal out of the holidays, especially Christmas. “We’re about to play Charades. It’s not the same without you.”
“I hate Charades,” I muttered.
She laughed. “I know. That’s what makes it so much fun. It’s not about whether you like it or not, it’s about having the whole family together. Nobody wants to play without you.”
I felt like a sulky teen, having to be coaxed into doing something I didn’t want to do.
“But you know… you always said you didn’t like Charades. You all pretended to hate it. But that never stopped y’all from having fun. You were all so competitive.”
“Still are.”
“I know.” She smiled. “Just like I know you all have your share of issues and arguments, but the love is always there. Sometimes you have to be willing to lose something in order to be the winner.”
“What are you saying?”
She patted my arm. “I think you know exactly what I’m saying. Your pride won’t keep you warm at night and it won’t be there when you need a shoulder to lean on. You boys were all raised to be such macho men.”
A laugh burst out of me at her choice of words. “Macho men?”
She waved her hand in the air. “Whatever they call it these days. But let me tell you something, Brody McCallister.” She wagged her finger at me, her voice stern. I stifled my laughter. Kate was all of five foot nothing and the nicest person you’d ever have the privilege of meeting. Growing up, whenever she’d reprimanded me, it had cracked me up. Still did.
“It’s high time you let go of all that outdated thinking about what it means to be a man. And if you let that girl go, you’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life. Sit on that thought for a minute.” She lifted her chin in the air and walked away. “But don’t take too long,” she called over her shoulder. “We’ll be expecting you in the family room for Charades.”
After she was gone, I laughed and scrubbed my hands over my face. Where would I have been without Kate McCallister? Patrick liked to think he was the boss around here, but growing up, I’d always known it was Kate who had the real strength. She’d kept us all in line, had made sure we always knew we were loved, and somehow handled Patrick without him ever realizing she was doing it.
So I returned to the family room, and I took in the scene. The floor was littered with wrapping paper, the tree decorated with all the ornaments we’d made when we were kids, strung with popcorn ball garland and Gingerbread men Kate and Noah had made, the multicolored lights twinkling. Everyone was talking over each other, as per usual. Levi was having more fun playing with an empty box than with all the toys scattered around the floor. Now he was in the box and Noah was whipping him around the carpet, probably giving the poor kid whiplash. Jude and Gideon were on the floor, battling it out with Avengers superheroes on the LEGO Helicarrier. Ridge and Jesse were shooting each other with Nerf blasters. Patrick was on his recliner, reading the instruction manual for Noah’s new Nintendo gaming system.
I took my seat on the sectional next to Shiloh who was talking to Lila and Kate about baby names. Jude and Lila were having a girl, and everyone was thrilled. A few days ago, Shiloh and I had been invited to dinner at Jude and Lila’s and they’d announced the news. On the drive home, Shiloh and I had talked about Hayley. She told me she had entered her name in a database, giving Hayley the option to look her up when she got older, if she chose to.
“I’ve made my peace with it,” she’d said. “I can’t go back in time and change what I did. And now that I’ve seen her, I know I did the best thing I could for her.”
