Page 24 of When the Stars Fall
I went inside and grabbed the pitcher of cold water from the fridge that I’d garnished with lemon slices the way Kate always did because I knew that was how Jude liked it. I carried the pitcher and three glasses out to the deck and set them on the teak table between my mom’s chair and mine.
After I poured us all a glass of water, I sat on the other lounger while Jude leaned against the railing facing us. A few weeks ago, he had sanded down the railings and repainted them. They looked fresh and clean now, the paint glossy and white. My mom had insisted on paying him but he refused to take the money.
“I love you, baby,” my mom told me. She said it often now, as if she wanted to make sure I knew it.
“Love you too, Mom.”
She smiled at me then turned that smile on Jude. Lately, she’d been giving us ‘talks’ as if they could ever prepare us—me—for losing her. But nothing could prepare me for that.
“Every time I look at you kids, you look more grown-up. Slow down. I don’t want you growing up so fast.”
She blinked away her tears and Jude and I pretended not to notice.
“So... have you two kissed yet?”
Water sprayed from Jude’s mouth and he coughed, pounding his fist against his chest. My cheeks flamed. My mom just laughed. Sometimes she was so embarrassing.
What was I going to do without her?
* * *
“So,you and Jude are just friends, right?” Ashleigh asked me, twisting a lock of blonde hair around her finger as she leaned against the locker next to mine.
I stuffed the books I’d need for this weekend’s homework into my backpack and slammed my locker shut. The sound rang out in the almost empty hallway, everyone in a rush to get out of the school and start the weekend.
My stomach hurt. I felt like screaming.
“I mean, I’ve been crushing on him for ages. And you guys are like, just friends on account of your moms being friends and being neighbors...” Ashleigh said, making me feel all stabby. Like the fact that our moms were friends was the only reason Jude would hang out with me.
Granted, he was Mr. Popularity. Ever since we started high school this year, I’d been noticing how people acted around him. Jude was an athlete, he had a lot of friends and made them easily, and everyone liked him. Even the teachers liked Jude and cut him more slack than they did for the other freshmen.
Jude was cool without even trying, and he had that charisma that made people gravitate to him. Like they were ready and willing to follow him anywhere. But unlike some of the guys on the team, he never abused his power or his popularity and I think that’s what made him so special. Like, hecouldact like an asshole and treat other kids like crap and still get away with it but he never stooped to that level of leadership.
“Are you cool with it?” she prompted. “If I go for him?”
This was my chance to say no. She was asking for my permission. Jude and I were so much more than just friends. And yet... we werejust friends.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Jude and I are just friends.” She gave me a big Colgate smile like she’d just won a prize. I wanted to punch myself in the face but instead of shutting up I kept talking. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”
“Okay with what, Rebel?” His voice was low in my ear. He was standing right behind me, having crept up behind me like some kind of Ninja.
I spun around to face him. “You need to stop sneaking up on me.”
His eyes narrowed to slits. “What are you okay with?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “It’s... just... nothing.”
“Hey. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Ashleigh gave us a little wave and an extra special smile just for Jude. Tomorrow she was having another pool party. I had no intention of going.
“You wanna tell me what that was about?” Jude grabbed my backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He was already carrying his own backpack and his heavy sports bag.
“You don’t have to carry my bag.” I tried to wrestle it away from him but he swatted my hand away and strode down the hallway like he owned the place.
“It weighs more than you do.” He slowed his pace to accommodate my shorter legs so I didn’t have to jog to keep up with him. “What do you have in here anyway? Bricks?”
“Just textbooks.”
“There’s only a few more weeks of school left.”
