Page 108 of When the Stars Fall
How could I ever fix everything that I’d broken? How could I repair the damage that I’d done? The boy who had been her best friend... the man who had loved her beyond words or reason... wanted to believe that it was still possible.
* * *
My foot wason the first step of the staircase when my mom called to me from the kitchen. Reluctantly, I walked down the hallway, the walls covered in photos that I didn’t stop to look at. I’d seen them all before. Proms, graduations, homecomings, our annual family Christmas photos through the years.
As I crossed the terracotta tiles, my mom looked up from the crossword puzzle she was working on and gasped. Guess my face didn’t look so good.
“Honestly. Aren’t you two a bit old to be fighting?”
I pulled up a chair across from her and raked both hands through my hair. “Probably.”
Tskking, my mom stood up from the table, grabbed a dish towel from the drawer and opened the freezer to get some ice for the bruising on my face.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I don’t need ice. Just sit down. Please.”
With a sigh of resignation, she returned to her seat at the table. “Do you want some herbal tea? It might help you sleep.”
“No, thanks. I’m good. Why are you still awake?” My eyes darted to the clock on the wall above the stove. It was eleven thirty and my mom had never been a night owl. After I’d left Brody’s I’d gone for a drive with no real destination in mind and had ended up taking a trip down memory lane, visiting all the places Lila and I used to hang out.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Dad’s going to be okay,” I assured her, thinking that might be what was keeping her up, worrying.
“I know he will. But the house feels so empty without him.” She smiled. “That man drives me crazy but I can’t imagine my life without him.”
My parents had gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but after more than thirty years of marriage, they were still together. For better or worse. In sickness and health.
“Did you and Brody work out your differences?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Not sure that’s possible.” I knew she wanted us to be one big happy family but that wasn’t going to happen.
“You two were always so alike.”
I stared at her. “Brody and I have never been anything alike. We’re about as different as two people can be.”
She shook her head, disputing that. “You might have wanted different things in life but you were very similar. Even more so now that you’re older. You both fight for the things you believe in. You’re both loyal and have an innate sense of justice. And you’ve both experienced some terrible things in your lives.”
Even though I thought she was wrong, I didn’t bother arguing.
“Do you want my advice?”
“Sure,” I responded even though her question had been rhetorical. My mom would give me advice whether I asked for it or not.
“You need to find a way to forgive yourself. You’ve always been too hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect, Jude. Everyone makes mistakes. Just try not to make the same ones over and over again.”
She was cutting me too much slack. Minimizing the damage I’d done by calling it a mistake. As if I’d gotten a C on my math test instead of an A and all I needed to do was learn the material better before the next exam.
“It’s never too late for a second chance.” My mom rose from the table and rinsed out her mug. “Get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning.” With those words of wisdom, she left me alone in the kitchen with my own thoughts.
My mom was wrong. I didn’t need to forgive myself. I needed Lila’s forgiveness. I had to find a way to right my wrongs.
I had to find a way to put the stars back in the sky.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lila
“Prince Charming is back,”Christy said, not even lifting her head from the floral arrangement she was working on. We didn’t have to look out the windows to confirm. I heard the tires crunching over the gravel and I knew it was him. Right on time. The song playing from the speakers cut out and G-Eazy’s “The Beautiful & Damned” filled the studio.
