Page 78 of Wilder Love
She trailed her hand through the water. “I’ve missed you. I missed us.”
I didn’t say anything. What could I say to that? I missed you like a missing limb.
“I never got to tell you how sorry I was. I never got to tell you—”
“There’s no point in dredging up ancient history. It’s over. There’s nothing to talk about.” I clenched my jaw. “Subject closed. Don’t bring it up again.”
She let out an exasperated sigh. “Are there any topics we can discuss? You’re so damn prickly.”
“How about all the money you spent? You want to talk about that? I don’t want your charity.”
“It’s not charity. How many times did you do the same for me and Dylan? How many times did you buy us groceries and pay our utilities, so they didn’t get shut off? This was no different.”
“It’s a hell of a lot different.” I watched a bead of water trail down the sun-kissed skin of her lower back and disappear inside her bikini bottom.
“Why? Why is it different?”
I scoffed. “Because I’m a man.”
She laughed. “Oh my god, you’re such an ass. Talk about a double standard.”
“Less talk, more surfing. The next wave has your name on it.”
“I just want to float and find my Zen.” She closed her eyes and folded her hands as if in prayer. “You take it.”
“Nope.” Jarring her from her meditation, I turned her board around and gave it a shove. “Go! Paddle hard.”
She lay on her belly and paddled for the wave—it was shaping up to be a four-foot to overhead on the outside peak. The lines were long, and it wasn’t too big that it was closing out. But she hesitated, just that moment of indecision, and that cost her. The wave passed right under her before she popped-up, pushing the tail of the board up and the nose down. She was too far forward and did a nosedive into the ocean. I watched until she emerged and winced as the next wave slammed over her head. Retrieving her board and getting it underneath her, she paddled back out to me.
“That wasn’t pretty,” she said when she joined me, shaking water out of her ears. “It was fun though.”
“Yeah?” I laughed.
Her face broke into a big smile and I read the joy on her face. “So much fun.”
“Crazy girl.”
“I need to keep my weight back, right? And I should have popped up sooner.”
“Look at you, critiquing yourself.”
“I learned from the best.” She gave me a big exaggerated wink and I chuckled. Being out here with her, surfing together again, made me forget my problems for a while. It was too easy to fall back into the way things used to be, but I knew I couldn’t do that.
“Let’s see what you’ve got,” she said, eying the same wave I was. Her eyes sparkled, her face lit up with a smile. This was the Remy I had imagined on my darkest days. The picture I carried in my memory. Seven years older but her smile, the real one that wasn’t for the cameras, hadn’t changed. She nudged my arm. “Go!”
* * *
After a couple hoursof riding waves, she was starting to find her rhythm and her confidence again. I paddled back out to her and she gave me a big smile. “You’ve still got the magic.”
“You know it, Firefly.”
She gave me a soft smile at the use of her old nickname. I’d said it without thinking, slipping back into another time and place.
Surfing with Remy was one thing. Anything more would ruin me. I didn’t for a minute believe that she would be happy to stay in Costa del Rey. Or that I could fit into her life now. She had gone on to bigger things. Her world had expanded. She was loaded with money, could go anywhere and do anything she damn well pleased. Once she figured out what she wanted to do next, she’d be gone. Even if she did stay in Costa del Rey, she was too far out of my reach now.
I shook my head, spraying her with droplets of water from my hair. She laughed and tried to shove me off my board, but I held my ground. “Watch yourself, sweet lips or you’ll be drinking ocean water.”
“I’m holding steady. You can’t knock me off my board.”
