Page 64 of Wilder Love
“We will,” they shouted in unison as they jogged down to the water.
The beach was crowded, but I found a quieter spot further away from the staircase and lifeguard stand and laid out my towel on the sand. Stripping down to my bikini, I donned my ballcap and sunglasses and leaned back on my elbows, scanning the surfers in the lineup, easily spotting Shane. I wanted him to myself. Not happening today. Or maybe ever again. I didn’t know who he was anymore or what I meant to him or if he even cared that I watched him every day.
Today he was surfing with Travis. I’d followed his career. Not closely, but enough to know that his dreams had come true. Shane belonged up there. Right at the top. But I could see now that Travis had surpassed Shane. Technically, at least.
Shane was still more exciting to watch though. Even though he wasn’t competing, he still took risks. He still left it all out there. It was in his nature. I watched him fly across the wave, gaining speed, and launch off the lip, catching air. He kicked the board and grabbed the rail—Superman—reconnecting with the board before landing. God, I loved to watch him surf.
Shane paddled back out, and my gaze moved to Dylan. He surfed like he lived, attacking the waves like they had wronged him. I bet he was hard on his boards. His surfing had improved so much since I’d last seen him surf though. Seven years of living in SoCal with the ocean on your doorstep would do that. I was so focused on watching Dylan that I didn’t notice Travis until he was standing in front of me. He dropped his board on the sand and sat next to me.
“Look at you, all incognito. Barely recognized you in that disguise.”
I laughed a little. “How’s it going, Travis?”
“It’s all good. Living the life.” Travis had one of those chiseled faces and ice blue eyes that made him look cold and unyielding. He’d never had Shane’s warmth. His gaze flitted to me briefly before he gave me his hard profile again, his eyes on the ocean. Surfers were always watching the ocean.
“Looks that way. I’m happy for you.”
“How’s the life of a supermodel?”
“Busy. Hectic. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good. It had its perks.”
He nodded, and I got the feeling that he didn’t really give a shit if my life was good or bad.
Scooping up handfuls of soft sand, I let the grains sift through my fingers while I waited for him to say what was on his mind.
“Are you just passing through or are you planning to stay?”
“I’m not sure yet. But I won’t be leaving anytime soon.”
He nodded. “Right. Don’t take this personally, Remy. But he’s been to hell and back. He doesn’t need any more trouble in his life.”
Trouble. That was how Travis saw me. I couldn’t blame him. He was just trying to look out for Shane, not trying to make me feel like shit. But it still hurt, knowing that all I’d ever brought into Shane’s life was trouble.
“He’s trying to get his life back together, but it’s not easy. And now…” Travis ran his hand over his buzzed hair. “he’s going through a hard time. Just do me a favor and stay away from him. If you care about him at all, just stay the fuck away, Remy.”
Some things would never change. The universe had always conspired to keep me and Shane apart. But Travis had always been a good friend to Shane, so I couldn’t fault him for speaking his mind.
I opened my mouth to respond but closed it again. Travis was already walking away, his board under his arm, his message delivered.
I watched him jog back down to the water and paddle out, getting in the lineup next to Shane. Even from this distance, I could see the pissed-off expression on Shane’s face and then Shane paddled in and I knew this was it. After seven years, we were going to come face to face. My heart hammered against my ribcage as he walked toward me. I should leave. I should get up and walk away. Listen to what Travis said. But I couldn’t move.
He’d gotten bigger, his muscles more corded. His face harder-looking. There was no warmth in his eyes, no easy smile on his lips. I couldn’t read his face like I used to, couldn’t guess what was going on behind those hazel eyes. We didn’t know each other anymore. The world had changed us. But one thing was certain—he didn’t look like a guy who was loving life, who could turn every day into an adventure.
The magic was gone. It made my heart ache to look at him.
I’d imagined this day so many times but now that he was actually right in front of me I didn’t know what to do or what to say.
My breath whooshed out of my lungs as he lowered himself onto the sand next to me, sitting in the same place Travis had been only minutes ago. After all these years, he was so close. Close enough to touch. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the rigid set of his shoulders, the clenched jaw. I was too much of a coward to turn my head or look into his eyes. Too scared of what I’d see in them. Or what I wouldn’t see.
All our unspoken words filled the empty space between us. Shouted into the silence.
I destroyed Shane Wilder’s life and there was no coming back from that.
28
Shane
“Why are you here, Remy?”
