Page 70 of Beautiful Rush
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Anthony knockedon my door promptly at eight. I answered it in ripped jeans and an Arctic Monkeys T-shirt with no makeup. It was a test. His reaction would give me a better idea of what I was dealing with.
“You’re not ready,” he said flatly. He entered the apartment and closed the door behind him.
“I’m ready. We can keep it casual.” Although his suit and tie suggested that this evening’s dinner was anything but casual. “Maybe grab some tacos or something.” I flashed him a smile. The set of his jaw told me he wasn’t amused.
“Go put on the dress and shoes. Do your makeup and wear your hair up.” His tone offered no room for disagreement. He was trying to dictate what I should wear and how I should look.
I crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted answers, not orders. Trust and loyalty, as Deacon had said, were to be earned, not demanded. “Why did you send me a designer dress and shoes?”
His eyes scanned my outfit, his disdain obvious. Anthony was handsome, but his face was hard and unyielding, and his dark eyes held no warmth. I didn’t know why I’d never noticed it before. I felt like I’d missed a lot. Had only seen what I wanted to. I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. Another childhood memory tarnished. Anthony had been the only one in my father’s world that I trusted and now I was getting the distinct feeling that my trust had been misplaced.
“It’s time for the princess to become a queen,” he said cryptically.
“What does that mean?”
“You were always mine. I claimed you before Sasha ever met you. I was waiting for you to grow up.” He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger, his eyes flitting over my face, from my eyes to my lips. “You loved to taunt me in your skimpy bikinis and tiny shorts, didn’t you, Babygirl?”
Who was this man? The Anthony I had known had never talked to me like this. I shook my head, trying to make sense of his words. “Taunt you? I never—”
“You flaunted your relationship with Sasha in my face. You let him take your virginity.”
Oh my God. It shouldn’t surprise me that Anthony knew that. But when I was with Sasha, I was just a teenager and Anthony was a grown man, in his thirties. Hearing those words coming out of his mouth sounded so wrong.
“Look but don’t touch,” he said. “Those were your father’s words. You were always off-limits. But I wanted you. I always wanted you.”
“You never looked at me that way.”
“Only because I couldn’t. You had sex with Sasha to make me jealous.”
It wasn’t true. Back when I thought I loved Anthony, I loved him in the purest form. I’d never entertained sexual fantasies about him. Never thought of him in a romantic way. I had relied on him to be my ally. My port in the storm. I used to believe that Anthony would do anything to protect me. That he would never hurt me. But now I didn’t know what to think.
“I was with Sasha because I wanted to be. It wasmychoice.”
He laughed like I’d just told him a good joke. “It was never your choice. Your father and his father arranged for you two to be together.”
Was he insinuating that my own father had whored me out? Pushed me and Sasha together for his own selfish gain? Would Sasha have gone along with that if he knew? “Why would he do that?”
“You’re a clever girl. I’m sure you can figure it out.”
Maybe my father and Ivan had been planning a merger, aligning forces to grow their empires. Or maybe they had been enemies who wanted to keep close tabs on each other. Did it matter anymore? Sasha was dead, his father had disappeared. My father was in prison. The world I’d been raised in was dead and gone. Yet here was Anthony in my apartment, in my space, reminding me of all the reasons I’d fled my old life.
He lowered his face to mine. Oh my God, he was going to kiss me. I tried to take a step back, to put some distance between us, but his arm encircled my waist, a steel band holding me in place. His lips crashed against mine and he kissed me hard, forcing his tongue into my mouth. It was all wrong. So, so wrong. I didn’t want to kiss him. I didn’t want it to be like this between us. I just wanted it to go back to the way it used to be, but that wasn’t possible.
He released me and I took a step back, my chest heaving. I wanted to wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, remove all traces of that kiss. A smile curled his lips, making me shudder. I had no idea that a kiss and a smile could be so revolting.
“You know what? I’m not feeling all that great. I’ll take a raincheck. Maybe we can try this another—”
He grabbed my arm in a vise-like grip. His voice was even, controlled, but dangerous. “After everything I did for you, do you really think I’d just let you go so easily?”
“Anthony…why are you acting like this? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.” A voice in the back of my head asked,Did you ever really know him?
“You made your choices. Don’t pretend to be the innocent victim. It doesn’t suit you.”
I felt like he was talking in riddles, which made me feel stupid for not figuring out what he was trying to say. “I don’t want that life…I don’t want to live like my mother. I don’t want to be left in the dark…”
“And yet you are living like that.”
