Page 49 of Beautiful Lies
“Fun times.”
“Don’t do that,” she said, feeding quarters into the machine.
“Do what?”
“That thing you do when you’re pissed off. You get all cranky and disagreeable.”
I am peaceful. I am strong. Blah, blah, fucking blah.
I leaned back against the seat and crossed my arms. “How many guys have you been with?”
She jabbed at the keys on the jukebox, ignoring my question, then gathered up the extra quarters and tossed them in her bag. Ava smirked when “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” started playing.
“Funny.”
“Does it really matter how many guys there were? If none of them—”
“If none of them… what?”
Our conversation was cut short by the waitress stopping by our booth to take our order, a different waitress from last time. I did the ordering for both of us. Stupid, really. Like I had something to prove. Like I needed to be in control of something in my life.
After the waitress left our booth, Ava leaned her folded arms on the table. “It doesn’t matter if I’ve been with two guys or twenty.”
Twenty. What the fuck? It mattered to me.
“It’s not like you haven’t been with other girls.”
“I haven’t been with anyone since that night with you.” Eighteen… nineteen months ago. It was a few days before Killian had hauled my ass off to rehab. Ava had called me when she was feeling low and I was flying high. The sad part was that I barely remembered that night with her.
“Not even… just for a night?” she asked.
I shook my head. Her gaze dropped to my chest then she pulled out her iPad and a keyboard and set it up on the table. “Let’s get organized,” she said, pulling up a spreadsheet. Little Miss Efficient.
“You think a spreadsheet will solve all our problems?” I asked, watching her type something into one of the boxes. She kept right on typing, her brow furrowed, like this spreadsheet was the most important thing in the world.
“If you’re sexually frustrated, then maybe you should do something about it,” she said, still typing.
“And what do you suggest? Should I take Claudia up on her offer?”
Her mouth dropped open and she lifted her head from the screen. “She offered to have sex with you?”
“Don’t look so horrified. Some women think I’m hot.”
“Mostwomen think you’re hot.” She lifted her eyes to my face then lowered them again. “It’s just… Claudia doesn’t look like your type.”
“And Zeke was yours?”
She shrugged. “It was fun for a while.”
“Fun,” I said like it was a dirty word.
“It was easy, okay? Don’t judge me for that. I was trying to get over you. I’ve been trying to get over you for years.”
“And how did that work out?”
“You tell me. I’m sitting across the table from you in a diner we used to go to when we were madly in love. And I don’t want you to be with Claudia or anyone else. But all I can offer you right now is friendship and my organizational skills. Don’t force my hand, Connor. Don’t tempt me to give you something I’m not ready to give you.” Her bottom lip trembled, and she gripped it between her teeth.
For a few long moments, neither of us spoke. I knew she wasn’t just talking about sex. She wasn’t ready to trust me with her heart. “I’ll wait for you,” I said, finally.
